For Priya (ladkikijhy) – who would’ve thought?


Some time during the night, sleep crept up and cast its magic dust on them even as they talked. They had covered a variety of topics starting from favorite color to his first year at IE-V to her favorite parts of the campus – the library, the ghat and the canteen. And yet when sleep pulled them away from the little cloud they had been cocooned in, it had been in the knowledge that there would be more words and one day – perhaps even comfortable silences.

When Khushi opened her eyes to the clearer sound of the morning river, she was sprawled against his chest and he was half lying down on the floor and half leaning against her bed. She was shocked that they had fallen asleep like this – unaware of how or who had been the first to give in to slumber. As she straightened herself and pulled away from him, she realized that all her limbs hurt, especially her hand which she seemed to have slept on. She looked at him in distress – she had actually put all her upper body weight on him all night – and now his neck was tilted at an odd angle, enough to scare her it would snap into two. If she felt this much discomfort – he was going to wake up with worse.

Without thought, she leaned in closer and put her hand on his shoulder to gently whisper his name – aware that this was the first time she was calling him by his first name. It felt intimate and yet fairly expected – after all she had slept through the night in his arms. Her cheeks flushed like they had never tasted blood before as the absolute ridiculousness of her own thoughts teased a smile at her lips.


His eyes opened and Khushi waited as she watched him blink, those sunrise irises slipped in and out of view and his eyes focused on her and widened in surprise.

“It’s going to be morning, soon.” She said softly.

He straightened silently and both of them rose in unhurried but definite movements, clearly signaling the end of the night that still seemed to sing in her ears, a song of tingling nerves that seemed to be so ingrained under her skin that there were seconds when she didn’t even notice them.

“It’s not yet four.” Arnav commented softly as he glanced at his watch. He rotated his neck and winced as he acknowledged the cricks she had known he would wake up to. “I’ll head out now.”

Before anyone could see him leave her tent. It didn’t need to be said and yet there it was, present in big bold letters. A part of her was thrilled with the secrecy – worlds had a way of intruding cruelly afterall. The other part of her was thick with tension. It was the last day at the River for all practical purposes – they would leave mid-morning tomorrow – that left her with no time at all. And she had the very unpalatable task of giving Arjun her answer and hopefully carving out a path from here that would preserve what she had and could with both Arjun and Arnav.

And perhaps spot a flying unicorn and a glimmering rainbow to neatly wrap up the dream in a shiny little golden package of everlasting sunshine

She quashed the little voice in her head with a visible shake. “I’m going to speak with Arjun today.” She declared loudly, more to herself than to Arnav. First thing in the morning.

He looked at her blankly and nodded after a long moment. “You should tell him about us. You mentioned he asked once. He will again.”

She almost wanted to smile at the absolute authority in his voice when he said us. But now the nerves were back to being strung and brittle. So she shook her head stiffly. “It won’t help him. I’ll tell him eventually but not…not today….” How did one tell her best friend that no she couldn’t consider his romantic proposition because she has infact already accepted an unspoken one from the very person she had declared vehemently being uninterested in.

“Time isn’t going to change anything, Khushi. How he feels about us today will not be different from how he feels three months from now. If anything, three months from now there will be the added guilt of having kept it hidden.”

She shook her head. Arnav was not wrong. But surely having had the time to process her rejection would prepare Arjun a little at least for news about her acceptance of someone else? And then, he did promise to help make things normal. He would try. And so would she. And in the course of the time that she knew it would take for their relationship to heal, she would try to be more open about her feelings – exactly what Arjun had accused her of not being. She would change something. And he would be able to see that she had done it with the intention of trying to do right by him. Of course, he would. Now…here at this camp…the break would be too severe…and perhaps lasting? No, she couldn’t afford that. She couldn’t lose Arjun completely.

Arnav took a deep breath and opened his mouth to say something and decided otherwise even as she stared. Then he smiled at her, a strange regret in his face as he looked at her silently for a long moment. She tried to smile brighter than she knew she would naturally. This was hardly goodbye – just a temporary recess so that they could start afresh soon. “Will you fall asleep at the charpoy today as well?” She asked as she tried to inveigle an invitation for another, possibly a last rendezvous by the River.

This time the smile did crack open wider than before but it seemed like a shadow of sorts had stationed itself between them for some unknown reason. “I won’t. Whatever happens – I will wait.” He said softly and then whispered a quick bye and turned to hurry out of the tent, leaving Khushi surprised and slightly scared.


“Arjun, we need to talk.”

She rolled her eyes at how corny the dialogue sounded even as she fiddled with the single poori on her plate and looked up once again in the direction of Arjun’s room. Usually, Arjun’s consistent late-coming – irrespective of the importance of the event in question – only amused her. Today, it was annoying. Why couldn’t the man be on time for once in life? Here she was unable to even push one poori down her throat even as her stomach growled in hunger and he…Arjun was in all probability just waking up to the fifty seventh wake-up reminder of one of his tent-mates.

“We need to talk.” Khushi scoffed silently. No one actually used those words, did they? And yet, the phrase now had almost self explanatory status now. So perhaps…

“Good morning, Kaveri Gupta.”

She looked up to see Arjun standing in front of her, fresh and ready like he was waiting to take on the world. She blinked rapidly to make sure she hadn’t conjured him up when she heard his low chuckle and was assured he was real. Oh God. He was real. And she was….She rose with the plate in her hand and then quickly set it aside. “Arjun,” She began, all thought of incredulous dialogue and over-used phrases flying out of the proverbial window as soon as she found herself drawn up to full height and staring into her friend’s eyes.

He shook his head and took a deep breath. “Oh no no….I haven’t even eaten yet, Kavi. And judging by that look,..I told you I don’t want the answer till the end of the trip.”

“I….” She looked around them and realized that a full breakfast area was not the venue she wanted for her talk with Arjun. A part of her, the one that hated confrontation and put if off as much as it usually could, cheered silently and suggested she push the discussion out. But the other part, the part that had been almost oblivious about the importance of Arjun’s friendship in her life, was raging forth. There was no time to wait. She needed to rip the bandaid off. She needed the wound she was about to expose to heal.

So she caught hold of his wrist, ignoring the look of absolute shock on Arjun’s face which on any other day might have elicited never-ending laughs from her, and walked out of the tent. She kept walking, grateful that Arjun seemed to have taken the hint and was following her with no resistance at all. She blinked as her fingers imagined his increased pulse agains the bulging veins at his wrist. She came to a stop by the edge of the Ganga, sharps sounds of river against rock in merging with the roaring of blood in her ears.

They faced each other as she let his hand go and waited for his face to become clearer beneath the increasing harshness of the morning sun. She knew what she had to tell him and yet she had no idea what she wanted to say. So she started where she knew how to. “I tried.”

“Did you? Really?”

The tone had changed between them in time that it had taken her to bring him to the edge of the river – literally and otherwise, she realized.

“I have no proof of it, Arjun. You have to trust me when I say I did.”

He chuckled painfully. “I should have known.” He took a deep breath and let his head hang in silence for many long moments before he looked up at her. “Fuck, I did know it.”

“Arjun, look I know you believe that you feel something…” She couldn’t even say it out aloud to him. Damn! “But I am not sure…I mean I don’t think you really you felt…”

“Oh no, Kavi.” He said sharply. “You don’t get to do that. There is no getting away from the fact that my feelings are real. As much as either of us would like to think, how I feel is not imaginary.”

“Arjun, I didn’t mean…”

“Of course you did, Kavi.” He bit out. “So now at least are you going to tell me there is someone else? That there always was. For you.”

There was no playing around with unnecessary words, she realized. It came to a boil like water that had stayed silently on low, blue flame for too long on a winter night. But still, it caught her by surprise and she shook her head even though she wanted to tell him. Either way, she was going to be the villain. She was already.

“Come on, Kavi. You don’t think I deserve the truth? It’s him. I know. I have always known. And not just because you are unvelievably easy to read. Because I saw it. Four years ago. And in the last four days.”

She watched in absolute silence as Arjun’s face darkened unlike she had ever seen it before. She wanted to shake her head, rub her eyes and wake up before this got worse. “This is not about how I feel about anyone else, Arjun. This is about the fact that I cannot bring myself to consider the option you presented. And I thought no was an option…”

Arjun closed his eyes and shook his head. “No was always the only option, Kavi, wasn’t it? Although you kept assuring me he wasn’t in the picture, he has always been the only picture in your head. But I am the idiot….I always just took your word for it. And I waited. Hoping that you would be able to be indifferent to him one day – like you claimed to be. Despite coming this close to telling you that night…I waited…I am the idiot…” He turned away and cursed loudly.

“I’m sorry, Arjun.” She whispered softly. And while he didn’t hear her apology, something he had just said rattled in her head as Arjun’s words replayed in her thoughts. “Came close to telling me how you felt that night…which night?” She knew her question had not fallen on angry unhearing ears. It was evident in the way his shoulder stiffened. She expected him to dismiss her question as unnecessary now. Instead he turned, his eyes suddenly bloodshot and almost wild.

“Are you guys together yet?”

She stayed silent this time. She knew she couldn’t deny it any longer. And yet confirming it, still seemed cruel. Arjun was angry with her. And he clearly had every right to be. She had led him to believe she was unattached when in reality she had never been. She had done to Arjun what she had accused Arnav to doing to her four years ago…

“So that is what this is about?” He mocked her with a cruel smile – one she didn’t recognize as Arjun’s. “Something did happen on the trip to Rishikesh yesterday, didn’t it? And you still told me there was nothing. And now you feel guilty. So here you are…” He shoved a hand through his hair. “This…this talk is to ease your conscience isn’t it? So you wouldn’t feel like you are breaking my heart?” He cursed again. “Oh wow, Kavi…I really don’t mean anything at all to you, do I? I wasn’t wrong. I was always just a convenient excuse to have around. Perhaps you always did know how I felt about you Kavi. How couldn’t you? Everyone did. Even the mighty AV-Sir. Infact he said so. He even offered to help me propose to you, did you know?”

She waited for something to change around her. Such accusations and declarations were meant for stormy nights and churning waters. But everything around her was as normal as it had been minutes ago. The morning was crisp and fresh, the sky brilliantly azure, the sun a blazing yellow on its way to becoming golden with heat. There was slight breeze and a River chuckled along. It was a beautiful day. Hardly one for such dramatic confessions. And yet, here it was – laid bare and stripped of all civility.

“You didn’t wonder why the list of songs got changed, Kavi. It didn’t even strike you as odd that it was me who told you about it.” He said softly.

“You were the only one who told me anything. Or not.” Khushi replied blankly. “And you are the one who decides when it is okay to tell me whatever you deem fit at the moment. Or not.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“It is supposed to mean exactly what I said. And there is no need to swear.”

He looked away and swore again, this time under his breath.

Where had the cheerfulness with which he had wished her good morning just minutes ago, disappeared to? When he looked at her and spoke, the hard edge in his voice was gone but his eyes still remained brittle. Fractured. “I changed it. We changed it – AV-Sir and I…so that it would be what…you wanted…what you would enjoy…The songs I selected were going to be a precursor to a declaration of my feelings.”

“I don’t understand.” She said a minute later. “You changed the songs. You selected them. All of them?”  The question should have quivered and dissolved into tears. But it thrummed in the space between them – strong and sure.

“All the ones that weren’t on your original list.”

She blinked and tried to tear her eyes away from him. But where would she take her gaze to if not on Arjun? What if she saw in the distance the person who was so present between them? The person who apparently had always known how Arjun felt – enough to offer – no actually help him out?

“He always knew I felt more than just friendshio for you, Kavi. And I always wondered if he did the same. I even asked him. That’s when I found out about his girlfriend. And I wanted to tell you. But I saw the way you looked at him when you thought I wasn’t paying attention. And I know that look. Because I wished it for me. He assured me there was nothing, that there could never be. So I decided to not tell you. I hoped that once I told you about the songs after Aarohan, it wouldn’t matter. I am not proud of it, Kavi. I can hear myself. I know how ridiculously desperate and selfish I sound. But…”

But in that moment, it was not only Arjun’s desperation that was making its presence felt in her heart. It was also the words he had so carefully chosen to throw her way. Almost as if he wanted her heart to break. Like his was breaking. She could hear the tinkling in distance. And she didn’t know where it was coming from anymore.

He assured me there was nothing, that there could never be.

It was the last part of the sentence that drew lacerations in her skin. That there could never be.

“He suggested singing the songs on your behalf? For me?’ How was that ever going to work? And if he was the one who suggested it….She blinked rapidly as another thought made its appearance, sneaking up her spine to make her shiver. Is that why he had apologized? And is this what he was going to tell her that night after Aarohan? Not about Saira? This had never been about Saira? He had told her himself – they had taken a break that last year he was at IE-…

“He wanted me to sing. But…” Arjun laughed bitterly. “Main aur meri awaaz, Kavi. I could barely get through the lines with you that evening. So I…I asked him…and he said he would…He did…except I never imagined that when he sang, he would sing like he meant every word. Those words were going to be mine” He took a deep, uneven breath. And she felt in her chest. A small shiver ran up her spine, unannounced, unwelcome, unsavory.

“Fuck, Kavi. Fuck. This is ridiculous. I knew you were going to say no, Kavi. I always did. I think it is part of the reason I never said anything all these years. Even Kr…But…this no…the one you are saying now…is because of him, isn’t it? Even now. After four years.” He bit out even as he thrust his fingers through his hair and then slumped onto a rock nearby. “And look what I am doing. I am doing exactly what I promised you and myself I wouldn’t. I am ruining this between us. How are we ever going to go back from this? There is no chance in hell, Kavi.” He looked up at her and shook his head. Then he rose in one quick move. “I need to get out of this damned place. I hate this bloody camp. I knew this was going to be life changing. But not like this, dammit. Not the fuck like this.”

He looked into her eyes and then swore aloud. “You are crying. Damn, Kavi. Please don’t do this…”

Khushi put her hands to her cheeks and brushed away a tear that surprised her with its ferocity. She never cried in front of anyone. It was a skill she prided herself on. Even at the age of thirteen when her parents had forgotten to wish her first thing in the morning on her birthday, she had locked herself in the bathroom to cry – even if just for five minutes that it took her entire family to realize it was her special day.

Arjun stepped forward and seemed to reach out to touch her – perhaps even pull her into a hug. But the feel, the warmth of his touch that she now realized she would recognize even if blinded to anything else, never came. Instead a deep sense of shame, a slow burn she couldn’t categorize yet as anger or betrayal, rose up her heckles.

“So this entire declaration of your feelings here – this is because Arnav is here too?” She asked, voicing the question that should have been put out there sooner. Perhaps even by years.

Arjun looked up at her incredulously. “Of course. That’s what you would think…” He smiled bitterly and shook his head. “He made me nervous, yes. The way you look at him made me nervous. That might have screwed up how I said what I wanted to. But I always wanted to. I had decided to in the time we spent apart – the last six months – the first time in years that I didn’t have you around. And when you said you missed me too….” He chuckled mirthlessly. “But that is my mistake. I assumed too much….”

She had said that just two days ago. And she had known it had been processed differently from how she intended. She should have been more careful. Except, this was not about this camp and something that had changed here. How Arjun felt…it was much before the River. And all the while, there had been so much she had been idiotically unaware of. “You knew everything about him,” She whispered. “And you claim you felt that much for me. And still you decided to keep everything from me. He decided to keep everything from me. You both made decisions and with such clarity and didn’t bother to even think of…” They had spent a whole day and a whole night together. Why hadn’t he…She wanted to be angry with them both and yet all she felt was a sense of desolation, a sense of complete disconnect from either men who claimed to feel deep feelings for her. How then, was she the one hurting like this? How then, were they all hurting like this?

No, she shook her head. Arnav Varun was not hurting. Sure, he was probably guilty. But he was the only one who seemed to be getting exactly what he wanted. Four years ago. And now. Then again, was she really someone he wanted? Or was it just easy given how evident her feelings for him were? Was he doing to her what she had decided to do to Arjun by giving them a chance? Is that why it was easy to go from “there could never be” to “giving this a chance”?

“I was scared and stupid, Kavi.” Arjun said as he looked down and let his head fall into his dropped hands.

She smiled joylessly at that. “And still you judge me, condemn me for being exactly that? You hid how you felt for me because you were scared. But I am not allowed to do the same?” Her voice rang out clearer than she thought it could be at a moment like this. “You are right, Arjun. How can we ever go back from this? Because this…this feeling of being an absolute idiot is not one I can forget very easily. The worst part is, I don’t think I want to.”

She shook her head and stepped away from him. She deserved his censure for having taken him for granted. But he wasn’t going to get away with making her feel like a fool. She may have been one but the two men who claimed to feel something for her, had big parts to play. And for the first time with little doubt, she knew instinctively that she needed to get away from them both.

River Song, Music and Lyrics

Song Title: Tanhayee

Album: Dil Chahta Hai

Singers: Sonu Nigam

Music: Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy

Lyrics: Javed Akhtar


Kyun aisi ummeed ki maine, jo aise nakaam hui

Duur banayi thi manzil toh raste mein hi shaam hui

Ab kahan jaaon main? Kisko samjhaaon main?

Kya maine chaha tha aur kyun kismat mein aayee





  1. Next update on Monday Nov 21, 2016 – late night IST
  2. There is more before we finish Part II.

661 thoughts on “Chapter Twenty Two: All Is Fair…

  1. Hi meera… It’s been long since I commented something here.
    I used to comment on the IF thread as aashmin…there were some problems with my wordpress account… So when you removed the story from IF I knew that now the only option available is wordpress…but however I took more time for it than I actually thought I would… May be be because you allowed to have river in my life even without comments(forever thankful for that).. Each Monday I think that I’ll fix my account n comment next time.. But never made it happen… But however the thought reached its peak on last Monday and reached its culmination point yesterday…. So today.. here I am …
    Coming to the river….
    All the recent chapters were wonderful ( all the ones after the shift)
    The last time I said something was when khushi decided to give arjun a chance n ended up having her first kiss with arnv…I so strongly wanted khushi to do the right thing by arjun by saying no to him…Arjun is a gem n deserve the best… Knowing how much khushi has invested herself in the feeling of that one known stranger,there is no point in her trying it with Arjun.. He deserves better…so I was very anxious and Impatient for the next update …so when we got one I was so relieved n happy about how things turned… Khushis decision to give themselves a chance… A peek in to arnav’s head…. Khushi n aditis shared secrets n laughter (I was under the impression that aditi is holding something against the a-k equation n was surprised the way things turned)… With all this happening I completely forgot the fact that we are actually in the past n where they are standing in the present…but after the last wonderful chapter(21) ,suddenly the reality about the present makes its appearance in my head n I realize that a heartbreak is near the corner… N I thought somehow it’s arnvs turn this time….the flow is going to be a turbulent one with lots of pain n open secrets… I think about the various possibilities of the impending heartbreak n ended up having no valid reasons.. Hence I call my friend last evening n I ask her about her opinion… She too was clueless… However we both talk about river for some more time before we drift to other lands(river is one of our shared joy.. Something we both equally cherish ..something that connect us)
    N then I get the chapter…after reading it I had no choice but fix the account …l never see this coming… I mean heartbreak.. That was expected..but who’s n why was the question… God… All those songs were selected by Arjun…. No….no…n arnv agreed to play along…. Bloody hell… Both men did play with khushis feelings…
    Arnv… If he knew that there is no chance ever, y did his actions spoke otherwise ….it was an easy out for arnav I guess…. Being the gentleman he is,he can’t think about any possibilities with khushi with saira in the picture… So may be he thought it’s better if khushi isn’t available… If she gets someone ,may be he wouldn’t be tempted to seek her… May be he would be able to keep her out of his head and he wouldn’t feel guilty then(saira)…may that’s why arnv decided to help… But however he couldn’t help singing it the way he wanted… He meant it… May be he thought after Arjun tell her things, she wouldn’t read too much into it or him….. But however fate had different plan for all of them …n that’s how khushi gets the one who ended up the one hurting the most…the confessions about the arohan night was cruel….how can she digest this …she was the only one who was kept in dark by both the “important men” in her life…it turns like what she saw had never happened…. Mirage….
    At this point it’s natural that khushi would doubt how arnav’s “there could be nothing ever turned into let’s give ourselves a chance”… Given how khushi sees herself, her self respect matters to her a lot… N don’t think that she would settle with the idea of her being the available option for someone…. However my guesses never work…well mostly…
    About Arjun…what can I say…. I’m an Arjun in my life..mostly like him.. I happen to have a best friend once… N later he meant much more…he reciprocate or I thought so..much later he says he is in a relationship since past six months… I breakdown.. Not bcz he loves someone else. But bcs he didn’t tell me.. The man who used to tell me about the number of times he sneezed in a day didn’t bother to tell me about his relationship status.. I was hurt beyond measure.. He didn’t bother to give an explanation.. I didn’t confront either… We both try to save our friendship.. However things gets hard n I stop trying shutting him out..n after four damn years he sends me a text..sorry….I found myself in the same plaçe after four years…. Hurt… Insecure …so when I read the last chapter I wonder,may be his sorry also meant something else… May be I saw things through different glass….

    Liked by 11 people

  2. First thing first song is so apt Meera.. Khushi ko chodo I am feeling so betrayed.. How can Arnav and Arjun do this to Khushi? One is best friend and other one she loved and he too said he loved her but what to say.. Khushi need to take a break from both the men and instead of hurting or wallowing in her grief Khushi should enjoy her life and let the time be healer.. Hope that is what the start of story will bring us to.. Will be looking forward to see how Khushi handles the situation and comes out a winner.. Loved the awesome update.. It was heart wrenching but Khushi is strong girl..

    Liked by 8 people

  3. I know i m late.

    Internet and life came my way. Life became hectic and internet became the pain in A..! The operator said fiberoptic issue or blah blah …

    Three hearts broken…. At last the mystery is revealed.

    Ajrun: was he really been honest here or was he trying to hurt her because he could not have her.

    Liked by 7 people

    1. honest,….and sadly due to frustration came out as he was hurting her and is in the negative.

      but alas, the secret is out and it going to be to each is own….so lets wait for Meera to unfold is as she planned all along.

      truly feeling sad for him.
      standing with khushi in terms of taking a break and
      Glad Arnav got what was ultimately cut out for him at this point in time.

      He can not again and again chance maro and get away with it….he will have to work for his chance and own time and wou her.

      Liked by 7 people

      1. u r right Avni, Arnav desperately wanted Khushi to know about what happened on Aarohan night, that too from Arjun’s mouth, and now he needs to definitely cannot get away from what he and Arjun did to Khushi 4 years back…

        Khushi must be feeling hurt for the way she was taken for granted and her self respect so so so badly..

        Reading the prologue gives a feeling that Khushi has come out of that mode but eagerly waiting for Meera to unravel the way Khushi going to handle Arnav on the last day at Ganges

        Liked by 6 people

  4. Okayyy, is there a cure for stupidity? I hope before she walks away she will smack their heads together….repeatedly. And when she is with the two of them again in five years, smack them once more. Boys are so darn stupid, aren’t they? I can totally visualize a lot of friends from back in the days do something that stupid, in the name of brotherly bs.

    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” ― Albert Einstein

    Arjun is pissed, really. On what basis? If there was one thing he had, it was time, which he chose not to use. He had countless opportunities to come clean and open his heart. Insecurity presents itself in myriad hues, as anger in Arjun, as worthlessness in Khushi, and as trepidation in Arnav. One huge weakness of all these characters is that they don’t communicate. They don’t realize their hearts don’t come with an in-built boom box. What Arnav and Arjun did was stupid, crazy even, but does it warrant a heartbreak that is so ginormous, that she would throw it all away? I’m certain some would differ with me, and rightly so, but for me it’s a bit of a stretch. Again it all comes down to her willingness to confront Arnav and put it out on the table. Surely, she realizes that he’s been out of his previous relationship for a few years now and his declaration of ‘there can never be’ is just that, a declaration, which is not set in stone. But she never had much self-esteem to begin with; this just pushes her off the precipice.

    Correct me if I’m wrong, aren’t the songs sung during Aarohan different from the ones on the tape? I thought the tape was something Arnav complied for her, and had nothing to do with Arjun. If yes, what was Arnav trying to accomplish with that gesture? Helping Arjun while throwing a line for himself, since he let her know in clear terms that there were ‘two of them’ at the time. Pretty conflicted person he was at the time. I hope she leaves the place at least comfortable in the knowledge that she wasn’t the one that screwed up, and on a relatively moral high ground. All that said, I’m kinda glad it’s ending the way it did (or is going to). There’s a need for some growing up.

    That was a great chapter, Meera. You nailed it :) Thank you and wishing everyone a lovely week ahead!

    Liked by 19 people

    1. That is an amazing comment!👌
      I would love to see her smashing their heads!😂

      I forgot about the tape altogether. Now I want to know what it all meant and why did Arnav want to apologize?🤔

      Liked by 9 people

    2. totally agree with ur last paragraph.

      Indeed a confusing personality.

      but not the part where shes not the one that screwed up,….she played a part in this too, cuz Arjun would never have choosen to go with this whole proposal on the Aarohan night if he had any inclinations to how she felt. he may have suspected but that doubt was repeatedly cleared by both Khushi and Arnav which lead him to try his chance with Khushi.

      So she did play her share in this fiasco and hopefully she sees the flip slid of the coin too.

      Liked by 9 people

      1. I hear ya :-), that’s another way to look at it.
        I just see no intentions of malice in this story. Just folks who are high on youth, making mistakes and hopefully learning. Other than that it’s just a beautifully thought and written story that just makes me beg for more.

        Liked by 10 people

        1. Agree,….there is no malice but a huge communication gap….and lot of growing up to do.

          I feel that Arnav is still in the phase where he need to find himself and discover his full potential, understand Khushi’s importance in his life before he can commit whole heartedly to Khushi and fight for their Love to thrive.

          And ……

          There is time and place for each love story to take off…..
          Aur Yeh In dono ke ishq ka waqt nahi hai…. ala SRK 😬😁

          Liked by 8 people

  5. Hi, Meera,
    I have been waiting for this conversation between Arjun and Khushi as much as between clearing of air between Arnav and Khushi. I must say it almost went the way I was guessing. Arjun’s fears and frustation expressed in a way so natural to human tendencies,blamming and finding faults with the others. Khushi was right when she said that her no was independent of Arnav or any other person she would have liked. Her feelings towards Arjun after so many years of his friendship and flirting or his indirect way of showing his extent of affection towards Khushi, have not wavered. She was worried for his heart break she cannot avoid causing even when she had no clue of its depth or duration, she was worried for losing his friendship. Arjun knew Khushi had never seen his support or his indirect attempts at expressing his love towards her as nothing more than lively casual banter of friendship.How can a person ever get prepare to face the very truth they wish never to come out every waking moment ..?

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Oh yaar! Phaansi dedo ab, cus I wrote about him! I mean…Defense vakeel??????? ROFL! Genuine feelings ki toh koi value hi nahin is duniya mein yaar! :P I am enjoying the fact that I have stumped everyone, including Author Sahiba! :D I didn’t realise I was affecting Anu So much that she was forced to ask a question because of it! :P ;) Someone please post a Sanam song and get her off my back! Please! :P And Meeru, you too?! Yaar you know I write only if I feel …so this is all because of you because you write it that way!

      I had always wondered what made me see those negative shades in Arjun. I feared all along that he was envious of Arnav to a worrying level and that he might actually cross a line if push comes to shove. He was never in the limelight before lol, but yesterday Meeru seemed to peel off a few layers from his facade and I saw something there. This update tells me a different story of an insecure Arjun. Of a person who could not be Arnav and had resigned to that fact. Of a person who wished with his whole heart that the twinkle in Khushi’s eyes for Arnav was for him instead. But he seemed more resigned to the fact that he could not win her and that was pissing him off. He seemed to be resigning to that for a pretty long time and that was hurting him. I felt bad for him thats all. He tried, his academic record says a lot. That gold medal, wasn’t that unexpected from Arjun? (P or Meeru, please correct me if I am wrong, I hope I am imagining this!!) He tried to be better, he worked hard to earn her confidence, trust, the comfortable feeling, the friendship (Kaminaa, he earned it all by keeping her in the dark, but thats not the point! :P ) In the end, nothing mattered to her. What he offered was not what she wanted. I dont know how he handles this.

      I couldn’t read Arjun, mostly cus he hid behind that jovial facade and was almost impenetrable. I just realised what he is made of and why! And thats all I wrote about! That, by no means, clears him of what he has done! By no means does it mean Im defending him! And although he is what he is, he is human yaar. He is grey, but not a criminal, not full of malice.

      I dont know how he is going to handle this rejection though. I am still not sure about him. His lashing out in this update was very natural initially, but then almost seemed like he was trying to hurt her intentionally. As though she let him down in some way. Plus, he is pissed off because he read her wrong, because he didn’t listen to his heart which told him that there was something brewing between Arnav and Khushi for a long time and it was there to stay. He is pissed off because he lost her, not because of just the lack of feelings from her side, but lost her to the guy who he believed was perfect as well. He is projecting it as though she played with his feelings. We all know what the truth is, but Arjun doesn’t! He might not look at this rationally. And thats where he is grey or dark or a rainbow(!!) or a chameleon or whatever to me! He is an injured lion who still thinks he can roar, although he seems more like a fox than a lion to me! :P I hope he doesn’t but there is a chance he might. I just hope he walks away without creating any more issues in Khushi’s life. It also gives me the creeps that he is back with her in the prologue. The way he is right now, from here to what he is in the prologue …its a huge leap. I hope Khushi knows what she is doing.

      Liked by 12 people

            1. Thank you P! You are a true friend, rest just talk! :P

              The ‘fans’ will miss his cute balle balle eyebrows cus of the sunglasses in this one! He’s trying hard to tilt his neck so that we can see them, but….sigh! It was not meant to be!

              Liked by 6 people

                1. OK… only for you… when I saw the Ishq bulaava song the first time, that had pretty much close up of this guy for a good part of the song, I found the way his eye brows were jumped with his intonations amusing… and this Appu is all over it …. even she observes whatever I say closely… ummm… what do we make of that?!!!

                  Liked by 5 people

                1. Are Priya,

                  The place where I live started freezing (Wishing that canals freeze too). And in the middle of it दिल दहलाने वाला update. :-D


                  My three Sher, ab to batao, tumhe kaun sa kis ke liye sahi lagata hai, at this juncture.


                  Liked by 3 people

        1. tumhari???

          Yeh kabh hua…..

          Mujhe lagatha yaha pe hum sabh apne hain…..matlab Sohni bhi Apni hai….

          Yeh sarasar na insafi hai Madhuri-ji. Mein Thode dino kya gayab rahi ……blog ka pura naksha badal gaya.

          Sohni,….whats going on yaar??? aise kaise palti marti ho tum…..pun intended….(AV to Arjun)

          Please add all kinds of emojis to my comments, i am on the desktop n not ipad.

          Liked by 6 people

      1. What gold medal are you talking about!?
        And di, please be a little soft on Arjun. Fox!? Really? He isn’t that cunning.
        And by the way I feel a lot of negativity towards Arnav rather than Arjun! And I am not sure to whom I want to give the fox title!

        Liked by 7 people

        1. Actually Sohni,

          Bhavi has a point. If after 4 years AV cannot reveal something to Khushi of which he was also a willing party to, expecting Arjun to reveal to Khushi about Saira before Aarohan is wrong. It definitely was not “his” secret and at that time he was not privy to the information that AV and Saira are not working.

          AV broke many taboo on that night. The bro code or trust of Arjun by singing to Khushi the way he did, her heart when even he did not know if he is going to take any further step, and maybe a little bit of his own heart too. (I do not think he cared enough about it then).

          And Arjun was a 18 year old boy re. I do not think I can villify much older AV. So the only error Arjun did was error of judgement. AV did both if conduct. He did wrong towards both Khushi and Arjun. I do get it was not intentionally done and happened in a spur of moment. But it is true that he was least scratched among all three, all those years ago.

          If he was not in a place where he saw failure in personal or professional life, neither Khushi not Arjun would have mattered to him as much. (I am still not sure if he dated post Saira and later post this fiasco and if yes, how soon)


          Liked by 7 people

          1. I agree with both of you. It was not just Arjun’s story to tell, it was Arnav’s too. I can understand why the girl is feeling the way she does now, the guy was all over her the night before and not a word came out about this. Both guys messed up. He had asked her if Arjun had said something in the four years and if she hadn’t seen it coming. Even then he didn’t say anything, he could’ve said you know he had asked my help, advice…. He’s not going to come out smelling of roses unfortunately. Arjun, I’m not sure why he never mentioned that AV Sir had a girlfriend when he found out. Again the Bro code?, not many people knew about it on campus.

            Liked by 5 people

            1. Priya,

              Not just bro code. If AV shared that information in confidence, Arjun *should* not share it with Khushi.

              If AV really wanted Khushi to know, he himself could have mentioned. In a casual comment, or using some situation.


              Liked by 5 people

          2. Agree. Unless there is more than what we know very difficult to justify Arnav’s silence. If he was not sure whether Arjun has proposed to Khushi then may be he cannot tell her. But now that he knows from both Arjun and khushi that Arjun has revealed his feelings for khushi, I am not sure why he could not have told her about song switching

            Liked by 7 people

            1. Exactly,….it almost felt like he was carving his way by beating around the bush…..letting her run the conversation knowing she wouldn’t ask about that night as he has very cleverly told her he feeling that’s night weren’t misplaces.

              Pretty convenience if u as me. Knowing he will only have a little bit of respite and using it as his own advantage.

              Liked by 4 people

          3. Im writing in reference to this line – expecting Arjun to reveal to Khushi about Saira before Aarohan is wrong.It definitely was not “his” secret and at that time he was not privy to the information that AV and Saira are not working.

            The ONLY reason we expected Arjun to tell her about Saira then was cus he is(??) was(??) the closest dearest and the only friend Khushi had. Close friends do that for each other you know! Especially when he knew that the guy had a girlfriend and Khushi would get heartbroken for sure! Don’t tell me now that she had denied feelings (in words!)for Arnav when he asked! Come on! Its not about the words exchanged! He himself said it in todays update, words or no words, he had seen and realised that she fancied him!! But I saw the way you looked at him when you thought I wasn’t paying attention. And I know that look. Because I wished it for me!! Would one really wait for a verbal confirmation of her feelings at this point???! If the answer is Yes, I live in a different world then! :P

            Only If the naaspeeta had decided to peep outside his dreamy world and had taken on the role of a true friend, he would have definitely told her about Saira, especially when he realised the way she looked at Arnav. She was falling ‘flat on her face’ in front of his eyes, and he did nothing. He could’ve warned her!! AV and Saira were officially together then….working or not working who cares?!! After she knew, if she had still insisted on carrying on, it would have been her choice, atleast he would’ve been in the clear!

            Incidentally, a friend of mine(who is the closest one to my heart) had started showing early signs of interest in a guy from our class. This was early days of getting to know everyone in college. We didn’t know much about him then, we all were just getting to know each other. He was not misleading her or playing with her, I think he wasn’t even aware of her! We were just not close enough for him to share his love life with us! :D But we saw the signs, so when one of us came to know that he had a girl friend, we told her immediately. She had a bloody right to know bey! Nahin bataate toh baad mein chamaat maarti humko aur poochhti, “why did no one tell me then, tum log kya gaanjaa pi rahe the uus waqt?” :P Im not sure of the chamaat bit, but woh dialog definitely muh pe padtaa, it is still her favourite way of questioning, even today! :P :)

            Liked by 6 people

            1. I will tell my friend too but Sohni, if Arjun was as cunning as you like to believe, will it not be simple to just tell her AV has a gf?

              Trust me, I am not saying what he did was great, it was indeed stupid, but there is a great difference between being stupid and being cunning.

              Both the boys have been jerks but unintentionally so. So blaming just one (or any of them) is something, I am not ready to do.

              Khushi was 18 and even now just 22. With a lot of self image issues. So my heart breaks for her. But she has been being incredibly naive. In reality, she does not really know the guy whom she calls her best friend or the guy whom she claims to love.

              But both boys were also stupid, young ones, and in love too.

              I feel for Khushi for feeling that she was being played. Her feeling that AV never lost anything might be justified from her viewpoint (and chiefly mindset)

              But what she chooses to consider as being a memory of fake expression in reality is something where two guys did something they usually won’t for her attention. It can give a morale boost to someone confident to know that Arjun liked her so much to plan Arohan and AV liked her enough to forget himself. But Khushi being what she is saw it from a different perspective.

              And for sharing information about AV, if someone shared something ‘in confidence’, it is unfair to share it with anyone. Even with best intentions. We are talking about only friendship of Arjun and Khushi assuming AV and Arjun at that point were just acquaintances.

              If both were Arjun’s friends, will you still say that he should share something which AV chose to not?


              Liked by 7 people

              1. Loved that morale boost point. You have different way of looking at it and I loved it. Never thought of it that way. :)

                Yaar Madhu, this is what I feel. It was simple for Arjun to tell, but his logic was ‘I dont want to hurt her by telling her’, same thing which Khushi was dreading before meeting Arjun today. That thought makes sense but logic doesnt prevail because your friend’s heart breaks and thats definitely a bigger deal to anyone than respecting the fear which makes one not want to share vital information with the close friend. Or he probably thought that she will get over him, but was it worth taking a chance?! He had enough time to think about it Madhu. Its not something that happened on the spur of the moment. He had time. That doesnt sit well.

                And for sharing information about AV, if someone shared something ‘in confidence’, it is unfair to share it with anyone. Even with best intentions. Well, one has to decide with their pea sized brains whether the person they knew all along, who you are closest to and who also happens to be the love of your life…matters more or the other person you’ve just met a few days/weeks ago?! If its a question of ethics, and if I am breaking the law, then I would rather break it in favour of my dearest friend!!! But again, this is my view.

                If both were Arjun’s friends, will you still say that he should share something which AV chose to not?
                Tum philosopher ki potee(granddaughter) ho?! By the time I done answering one part of your question, you throw another scenario at me totally tilting the angle of the same question! :D ;)
                If they were friends, then NO! According to me, they shouldn’t. But they weren’t friends! Not the closest of them surely! And its a speculation that Arnav chose to share this with Arjun ‘in confidence’! We dunno! Unless I missed reading it!

                I think Khushi should leave the camp. These boys should get together in the only way any long lost buds do! Daaru ki bottles, sutta, gaaliyaan and guitar! Catharsis! And once done, make amends and get on with life :P ;)

                Liked by 5 people

                1. :-D

                  Are sach me yaar, two guys unintentionally hi sahi, kind of double crossed each other for you. If that does not make you feel wanted, I do not know what can.

                  The first time I read it, I wondered why she is stuck on what he said (as per Arjun, not now and not ever kind) instead of when he said he sang them as if he meant them.

                  And yes, still they both should be kicked on their respective posteriors (oh, that is in my hubby’s posh words) and she should date a couple of guys. If not, at least she needs to take AV from the pedestal she has put him on. This was much needed for her to realize that golden boys have clay feet, best buddies can be selfish (herself included, her trying to negate Arjun’s feeling was exactly that, her effort to make herself feel less guilty) and there are many kinds of pretty and ugly ducklings make fine swans.

                  What she even now shares with AV is laced with too much adoration, hero worship and needs to be balanced. To be honest, he needs it too. He needs to realize he need to win her and should not take her affection for granted.

                  As far as AV not being Arjun’s friend, it is not implied that they were not close. I have observed with Arjun like personality, most people consider them as their close friend and they can not say the same about many.

                  On other note, I felt the same lump in my throat about that reference to his non singing voice.


                  Liked by 6 people

                  1. If not, at least she needs to take AV from the pedestal she has put him on.
                    If I manage to do that someday, I will definitely advice her, won’t waste a single second! :P Jaaaani…Jinke ghar sheeshe ke hote hain, woh doosron ke gharron par patthar nahi phenka karte… :D

                    Liked by 5 people

                  2. If not, at least she needs to take AV from the pedestal she has put him on!
                    Kindly elaborate or correct. I have put all my energies into taking the best meaning out of that statement. :P

                    Liked by 4 people

                2. Naspeeta/Philosopher ke potee ho. :) You so remind me of very close high school friend. Kitna “jaan” hain is ladki main.’ Itne log… (Ok I will switch to english) after dear Sohni.

                  Arjun dear told AV sir that Khushi had a crush on him 5 years ago ! He confessed to Khushi he was trying to figure if Arnav reciprocated her feelings. Bro code supercedes friends code. Nah… this guy has a tunnel focus is not cunning but something is off. He has always known she does not reciprocate his feelings – case in point his conversation with her after her Rishikesh ride with Arnav and subsequent convo with Arnav.

                  Arnav did make a mistake 5 years ago but he is doing the right thing today. Arjun should tell Khushi about Aarohan ( Arnav is aware in the process she will walk away from him) to take away Arnav’s advantage (she is in love with him) and she should tell him about them( which she did not ).

                  Liked by 6 people

                    1. About Arjun? The counter argument to bro code. He is a friend of Khushi…should be really have confided in Arnav that Khushi has a crush on him? That is wrong..he did for his own confirm if Arnav reciprocated her feelings. Arnav told him about Saira…and he is at peace. No competition. Why bother to tell her..

                      Liked by 4 people

                    2. Now that’s a good point. He didn’t tell about Arnav’s feelings to Khushi and he told Arnav about Khushi’s feelings to Arnav. 😂 Cross connection hogaya ! 😋

                      Liked by 5 people

                  1. arey shradhha ji,….

                    It can also be the case where Arjun could have told Arnav about his having a crush on him during their conversation on Arjun should go tell his feelings to Khushi….

                    But in response to that statement Arnav may have disclosed that he was or is in a relationship with Saira and that’s how Arjun came to know.

                    Didn’t tell Khushi because: 1st is not his info to share and 2nd Maybe Arnav told him it’s not like that at all and Khushi isn’t the crushing on him.

                    Sans Arjun’s comment to him at the camp during their conversation as to *now u know she had a crush on you*

                    The more I connect the dots,….the more this whole situation in the story sounds sillier. And I strongly believe it was just bad timing and totally miscommunication or even unsyncing chain reactions resulting to a big mess and unnecessary heart ache.

                    Liked by 5 people

            2. Sohni dear,

              My 2 cents. The analogy that you have given – about you and your friends forewarning your friend about the guy – that’s perfectly fine, because you and your friends are not “in love” with this girl friend of yours. Yours is a pure friendship.
              Arjun has NEVER been able to see his Kavi as just his friend – and therein lies the whole problem. He LOVES her to death. So even if his brain says that she has eyes only for AV Sir, his heart does not want to accept it and he tends to hold onto anything, however trivial it is , which tells him otherwise – in this case Kavi consistently denying her feelings for AV Sir.
              I mean – I have had several situations in life where – I so desperately want something to happen, so desperately that even if I see signs that thats not gonna go my way, I still refuse to buy it. I will latch onto anything and everything that still swings the pendulum the positive way. At least for some time. Conflicted I am during that time yaar. Does that make me stupid and foolish and non pragmatic?? Yes, yes and emphatic Yes. Cunning and cruel – I would like to think NO.
              I think all the 3 protagonists of this story at this time (esp. during IE-V days) were naïve and a little stupid, foolish and crazy and have done their fair share of golmaal. Arnav now might have learned some lessons from his life experience, his relationship with Saira etc.I think his statement in some chapter some keeping secrets however innocuous tends to cause problems might be from his past experiences first hand. He has started to grow up. May be Arjun and Khushi are not there yet.
              Just my humble opinion :)

              Liked by 7 people

      2. Appu kaun tang kar raha hain tumhe? Jo bhi kar raha hain hume bhauat Mazza aa raha hain :grin:
        I see Anu is the main mischief here! I will do the honors of posting Sanam videos :grin:
        You guys will be back together soon, I better don’t speak much ;)

        I get it, you are sympathizing with Arjun but you don’t agree with his actions and behavior.. Understandable :)

        I always thought Arjun was a friend to Khushi and he wouldn’t do wrong by her, all this while he was watiing for reciprocation, it looks like he tried, tried hard to make it work (the route which he took ofcourse was a bad one, he probably will realize it soon). Atleast he got a closure, he has been dealing with it for so many years and now he can move on. Leaving you with this quote which explains his state I think….

        Unrequited love is a ridiculous state, and it makes those in it behave ridiculously. ~ Cassandra Clare

        Liked by 10 people

      3. Arjun winning the gold medal stumped me, I thought she’ll be the one to get it. Since by the end of the first year she had made it to the top. Don’t judge a book by its cover?!!!!
        He has known her for a long time, hasn’t he. “You guys have some history” AV Sir had commented once. I think his feelings towards her started from their school days. It is mentioned that someone once carved his name in a heart on her school desk. Then they met again in IE-V, and he becomes her friend. People started noticing and everybody assumed that they had something going on. They also meet this hero senior, she loses her heart and he finds a role model. She acts indifferent towards the senior, not wanting anybody to guess at her feelings, he probably got ribbed a lot in the hostel on his equation with her. He also saw to it that he spent time with his role model, confessing a whole lot of things to him. Things I think changed when AV asked her to be his singing partner. That’s probably when arjun started noticing her feelings towards AV. He’s stumped that she asked AV to call her khushi, considering the amount of time they have known and spent together. He tries flirting with other girls in front of her without it making an iota of difference to her. Maybe that’s when this fool hardy plan got hatched. After aarohan he finally realizes that the time is probably not right for telling her anything. He’s said to have dated some of the most popular girls in college, but he still carried that torch in his heart for his kavi. What I don’t understand is why he kept the information regarding saira from khushi right from the IE-V days? Three people caught in a sad situation. Nobody is sinister or evil. Idiotic maybe. I think he values their friendship too, he would do anything to not lose that I feel.
        P.S: Sanam gives Anu dhak dhak and acidity? Ee tho chor and chabi wala situation huyi gawa😝😄

        Liked by 11 people

      4. Love you Sohni…. I see the real Sohni peeking behind the very brief Arjun empathizer :)

        “His lashing out in this update was very natural initially, but then almost seemed like he was trying to hurt her intentionally.” – On this – one comment – the end to end conversation between the two could have lasted 10 minutes max. I think all those 10 minutes were natural reactions…. it is a little hard for me to believe that it progressively got intentional jibes….

        Liked by 9 people

          1. Getting to a consensus on Arjun was never the intent! Just some harmless leg pulling game with my dear friend, whi shocked us momentarily 😊

            PS: if it made your hands hurt with all that typing, soweeee… ☺

            Liked by 7 people

              1. Anu,

                You guys thought ahe did a 360 degree in a certain “ahem’s” case.

                But I kept on hinting at the unresolved feelings. :-D

                (Again doing भागो in SRK style. Ducking from all chappal thrown my way Sohni, singing “meri Sohni, meri tamanna, bhoot nahi hai mera pyar”)

                (Reference : watch the junior artist portion from Om Shanti Om for infamous भागो )

                Liked by 6 people

      5. Because u feel?

        Abh Arjun ke liye what do u feel? Uska ek OS ho Jaye so we r all in the clear….😂😂😂
        Matlab comparison of ur feeling for AV and Arjun from readers point of view…..😂😂😂🙊🤐😝😜😬😁

        Liked by 6 people

  6. Oh no – this chapter will change the lives of all three, I guess – I can hear the sound of 4 hearts breaks meera (mine included)
    I just can’t believe that the change was made by Arjun and that Arnav was doing that for Arjun –
    Arnav should have come clean about it to khushi –
    Arjun should have mustered up enough courage to declare his feelings to khushi sooner
    Alas, easier said than done
    Poor khushi – the impact is more on her
    Great update meera
    Will wait for the next dear

    Liked by 6 people

    1. I agree,….Arnav should have come clean or let Arjun come clean before building a castle of dreams with Khushi on a foundation of Arjun’s love.

      Secondly Arjun didn’t say anything earlier because he was awaiting Khushi to show some kind of emotion towards him before voicing his feeling,….
      He didn’t do it after AaRohan as he saw what happened to her that night,( or maybe tripti and he discussed something regarding Khushi’s feelings)….and him declaring his love would make her loose her friend too. Keeping quite and helping her heal and await some kind of signal from her was a right thing to do in my opinion.

      Plus he kept on asking her after their 6 months apart on how she feel about Arnav and tried to even flirt a bit with her.
      Abh if Khushi isn’t taking a bait but also denying any feeling for Arnav n giving conflicting signals to Arjun, What is he to do?

      Arnav was conflicted about Khushi and Saira during AaRohan, kept on telling Arjun to go ahead and he will help and all but when Mauka aya then apne feeling nikalaye cuz he heard tripti back stage…..and bechare Arjun ki want lag gayi.

      Khushi was Conflicted about Arnav and Arjun at the camp…that lead to delayed disclosure of the secret which came out as arjuns frustration which made us feel as if he is hurting Khushi because she denied him the *yes*.

      But aisa kuch nahi hai re……he is upset and genuinely so. Ke yaar if either one of them had been honest with him when he kept asking them,….he won’t have looked like a fool and proposing her or asking AV to help him, or coming btwn them yaar…..itna to naraz hone ka haq banta hai na uska…..

      Liked by 5 people

  7. Oh no. This is not good. What’s these two men are doing with Khushi.
    Six nay be Arnav did said to help Arjun in aarohan but he was also falling for her too. But he could not say anything due to saira. But even after all these years he could not forget Khushi and now when she is here he express his feelings. But this is very painful that Arjun too decide to tell her.
    Both men in their jealousy and insecurity messed up Every thing. She should kick both of them and run away from here till they apologies for this mess.
    Loved how you write about Arjun’s reaction. It’s quit natural for a human being to hurt the very person whom he or she loved so much.
    Now what will she do? I am so nervous for next update. All three of them are going to be crying at the end.☹️
    Thanks for amazing update meera.


    Liked by 6 people

  8. This chapter has left me flummoxed…and for many reasons.

    I’ll begin with Khushi. In the beginning of the chapter, she mentions that there never was the possibility of anything happening between Arjun and she. Why did she lie? Wasn’t she seriously considering him when he proposed? Or was it just her way of an assurance of a back-up (I know this sounds crude, but I have to get it out) since things with Arnav hadn’t progressed entirely? Maybe I’m missing something over here…if that’s the case, fellow readers (or Meera), please help me out.

    I won’t reproach Arjun. He might have been stupid, even wrong in keeping things from Khushi with respect to Arnav’s relationship status, but what he did can easily be touted as human. Silly, but human. And he is paying for it even now. I mean despite his efforts even then and at present, they’ve never worked for him, and he has come out empty-handed (for want of a better word) on both occasions.

    As for Arnav…I’m seriously pissed at him. He might shout from the rooftops and say that he was trying to bring Arjun and Khushi closer four years ago…but it would be a big fat lie. Either he was attempting to be a saint by letting go off Khushi (since he knew what Khushi felt for him and Arjun felt for her), or was just plain stupid (by being oblivious to Khushi’s sentiments). Only the latter could explain his offer of singing as Arjun’s proxy.

    Meera, I think I need another interlude, if Arnav is to be absolved. And now I’m no longer in dark about why things are the way they are in present day scenario.

    Liked by 14 people

    1. U put it correctly in words which I was struggling to do. I feel the Same . Especially for arjun!!! He is really stupid but also the someone u need to hold on for life and never let go….

      Liked by 9 people

  9. Omg! Where did this twist come from? One minute we’re enjoying warm kisses and in the next there is heartbreak
    Poor Khushi! I totally relate to her state. Stupid men who think they know best. Bah! I’m glad she, in her own way showed Arjun how displeased she was with him. I hope she is a little more forceful with Arnav, who waited for 4 full years to declare his interest in her. And that too in competition with Arjun. She should punch him on the nose first and then kiss him senseless, what day😉

    Liked by 3 people

  10. I am glad to be back on a right time !! It’s a crucial moment of th river’s journey!!! I Missed so much before !! So many things happened! River has really come a long way. I just finished what I missed….

    I read this part only to realize that I was and I am partial towards arjun still now. No matter what happened arnav couldn’t convince me. It would be very unfair to keep arnav and arjun in the same place.
    ” Aarohan ” night was really unfortunate for all three of them specially khushi!! Both the boys were wrong.
    I feel for arjun more because to be in a friendship with a girl for whom most of the time u are an incuberator hiding her from the world is very difficult, so falling in love with her is really a sign of big heart!! There should be no debate about khushi’s involvement and efforts in keeping and strengthning their friendship!! Khushi fell short and what she did with arjun about hiding her feelings about arnav and using him as a means of convenience is no less than what she is accusing arjun here.

    Arjun grew up with her, understand her more. He clearly knew her secret crush. So it was natural he would hold back his feelings just to give khushi time . He had time to confess truth but he knew the intensity of her heart broken on that night knowing about saira. Heart matters heal in time so it was actually very good move to give her space and not rushing to her with your proposal
    thinking she is available to u now.
    I praise arjune here. Questioning his intention is foolish as he hasn’t done anything except being a wonderful friend with khushi. Why he kept silence in last four years is understood , it wasn’t a good age either to take such important step. His insecurity after seeing arnav back in river , hurried love confession is also very natural. Khushi can only accuse him for aarohan night not for anything more. It’s she herself who needs to realize who have been unfair in their friendship till now. Khushi is totally unfair to judge him unjustly. Whatever he spoke maybe was meant to hurt her but it was his heart break too. U can’t expect a person to act saintly when he knew he was nothing but cheated. However wrong it may be khushi needed to hear this , her own actions that have damaged their relationship.

    If arjun played selfishly just because of arnav then khushi also did the same. She also forgot everything and took a chance to get what she wanted back. So why to blame arjun only?? Situation would have been surely different if arnav was not in their picture in river.

    Its true in all the mess only arnav is getting what he wanted. Just like arjune, arnav had time to confess the truth after that aarohan night knowing clearly well he had led her on , it wasn’t only for arjun!!

    He also had four years to come back and confess the truth! Did he do that? No!! He was busy in his life , that’s oKay!! But it doesn’t make him less guilty. I have failed to understand him!! He still remains a mystery to me. I think It was also arnav and saira’s relationship that saw an end at that aarohan night.

    The most frustrating thing is about khushi. Love makes people selfish and I hated her when she easily gave in to arnav again just after knowing he was available now where the man in question was still not coming open to his true feelings. He led her on again . I feel sad for khushi as in this fiasco , she has proven to be a fool for loving her own imagination when the reality was far away from it. Whatever she thought, felt, dreamed was only in her head. That makes her a looser.
    The only reason I would say her insecurity and complex about herself which colours the world differently!!

    The only true beginning for her when she stops denying herself.

    Its a’ll three of them who played with each other . And definitely khushi is not the only looser in then end….

    But one thing for sure arnav doesn’t deserve her now….

    Liked by 9 people

    1. Totally with you in this. For me slso– Arnav dies not deserve her now although they all three did the mistake. For me also we all are forgiving Arnav bec he is hero and we have few interludes of his feelings but we never knew about Arjun’s feelings. So yes if I want to be truthful and not biased ( as all of us are very biased with hero/Arnav )– Arnav got what he wanted at each moment. Khushi cane to river and he realized he is available and she still loves him– so he is giving a chance. Where was he after aarohan and all four years. I feel if we flip Arnav’s babe as Arjun and vice versa– even my feelings about them will change too as myself also biased pro Arnav

      Liked by 8 people

    1. I have missed the River. So. Very. Much.
      I don’t think I can think any more especially after reading it. I was barely able to keep my excitement in check and then… I have my thoughts all over the place. You are an amazing writer di. I don’t have many words to describe how good you are but I hope you understand what I am trying to tell you.

      My heart is breaking along with that of Kushi’s. Two most important people in her life just… They successfully broke her heart.
      Please don’t hate me if I now say I hate Arnav. I don’t know why I feel that this is all because of him. Though he didn’t lie he had successfully ruined it by keeping his mouth shut. And now whatever Kushi’s been thinking about him, that was exactly what I have in my mind. And all along it seemed like Arjun had done something grave before, especially because Arnav kept mentioning him almost every single time he spoke with her. Of course Arjun played his part too but I think he was just being self-preservative and he wasn’t lying. He omitted some truths but after today I don’t think that I will ever consider it a mistake. Damn me! And I am sure he must be hurting as much as Kushi is. He must be hurting more than how much she was hurt 4 years back.

      Damn. Now all I can think of is how horribly they both must be hurting.
      And Arnav… I don’t know. All I can think of is how easily he said that there could be nothing and how simply he has asked for a chance at it when he knew about Arjun and his own help years back. I don’t know why I feel this but it’s like he feels guilty for helping Arjun then..and now falling for the very same girl. I want to know exactly why he wanted to apologize.

      I don’t want blame any of them but I feel all of them were pretty selfish. None of them let a chance go even though they knew it was not the correct thing to do.

      And I am so bloody confused. I want to say so much more but I am not able to. Blast! Will be back again (after reading a few more time and after letting my initial reaction ebb away).

      Liked by 8 people

        1. Yes di. It’s been long time! I am fine. Thank you.
          Was busy with end semester exams , piled up assignment works and all that shit. But mostly I was held up because of the bloody excessive basketball practice.😠
          I missed the River.

          Liked by 6 people

            1. Cool!?
              No way… But thinking about it now, it does sound cool. But during those hours it was like complete shit. Believe me when I say I showered min of 5 times each day!

              Liked by 5 people

  11. OMG. OMG. OMG. Itna sab kuch ho gaya!! Hi Meeraji, sorry I’ve been awol, but life has been crayyyyzy. Preparing for CA Final now. I will finally professionally be like Aditi Maheshwari from your very own A Fate Intertwined. Er, if I get it right. I will, of course. But I need to pay full attention to Asli Duniya, that means. A Suitable Boy, An Equal Music (both by Vikram Seth), and the whole GoT box set are not taking it too well while i cheat on them with Advanced Management Accounting or Advanced Auditing. The fiction rack on my book shelf is now tedha because one of the screws has come loose. See? They’re protesting. But agle 6 mahine, they will have to wait.

    Now.. for my thoughts after reading, I think the last 7 chapters in one go. Whoa. Itna sab kuch ho gaya! I love the camaraderie that Arnav and his J share, and love the same with Aditi and Khushi. Khushi is generally a likeable person here. She’s a bit of everyone of us, isn’t she? The worry about her weight (oh let’s not even start. My mum has resorted to giving me nicknames that mostly mean ‘baby elephant’ or ‘baby dinosaur’), and that niggling feeling that the very thought of something happening between her and her almost celebrity crush, AV-Sir, (I’m right there. There, there, there.), and her relationship with the friend that’s always been there.. But let’s get to Arjun thodi der mein. her character is growing more and more on me, and I can see a little bit of me, and a lot of all of us in her.

    Now, I know whenever I have commented on any of your works, I have only ever spoken of the characters that you have birthed, and their traits, never your writing, specifically. Maybe it has something to do with reading many chapters at once, but I felt it today while I sat and took in the last 7 chapters. You’ve grown immensely as a writer, Meeraji, and allow me this privilege as an ardent lover of your work, when I say, you have always written beautiful tales, and spun some great magic (pun definitely intended. EIT is, and will be one of the best tales I’ve read), walked us through the halls of the library in Kolkata, made me, a true blue Hyderabadi who thinks Hyderabad is just miniature Mumbai, want to have a whirlwind romance in the dreaded monsoon of Mumbai. I hate rains, btw. While I read all of these stories with the same eagerness that I read your work when I stumbled upon ‘Musings of a Muddled Mind’ on IF, today, I was restless as I read and listened to the thoughts of Arnav Varun and Kaveri Khushi. I wished I could finish the chapters quicker, one by one, and get to where the story in anchored for the week long break now. And was so very disappointed as I read the last line of this chapter. Your writing today, feels like a smooth screenplay. And i’m SO proud that I’ve been reading all of your stories all this time. Believe me when I say you’ve found your true depth here in The River. (My pun game is oh-so strong! God.) And your strength, Meeraji, is the way you pen your characters. So nuanced, and yet we come to know so much reading about the characters, little by little. Keep doing this, and more, Meeraji. I am loving The River.

    Now. Arjun. Oh Arjun. The friend we all have had at some point, maybe. The one who gives the warmest hugs, has the most sincere eyes when you’re narrating something of importance to you, even if it is something along the lines of how long the queue for the pani puri is. :D I may have to take in a few more readings to actually assess the whole situation of making Kaveri’s decisions for her on both our males’ part, but for now, i’m rooting for all of these people. Krishna too. Told you, you pen your characters wonderfully. :)

    Belated Dasara and Diwali wishes, Meeraji. And never. stop. writing.

    – An ardent fan who’d LOVE to pick up a book of yours off a stand at Landmark. :)

    Liked by 9 people

    1. Appy – I am so so happy to see you here!!- and yes I can credit for that name you are using so cleverly most of all! From appy12 to Appy Singh and from Fate to the River – we have come a long way haven’t we? CA Final! Weren’t we talking about how you will be one in a few years just yesterday? :):) All the best Appy Singh (I love it!) and thank you for being so so kind.

      Liked by 8 people

    2. Advanced Management Accounting and Advanced Auditing. (Cries with happiness)

      I still have one by Khan and Jain on my bookshelf. I di not recollect who (the hell) *borrowed* my Maheshwari book if Auditing and never returned. Bought it from second hand market behind Mumbai University fort campus.

      And Vikram Seth!!! Kisses girl!!


      Liked by 6 people

    3. Appy, That was such a refreshing, vibrant , and heartfelt comment! I wish and hope that you find time to share this vivacity with every update, amidst the CA prep – perhaps as a break:) These are bite-sized chapers you see unless the bulky fiction books :)

      CA Final – what can I say except – been there, survived that! All the very best – and try not to snooze while studying auditing :) Honestly, real life auditing is far more interesting than theory! Imagine getting paid for finding fault :) By the way, those people at the Institute are by far the meanest people on Earth – what is with this obsession of keeping pass % at the lower end of the 2-digit spectrum!!!! I never understood!!!!

      Liked by 7 people

      1. Oh you guys! :’) Thank you, all of you, for your kind words. And I shall try to visit The River more often now. I’m on study leave right now, and we all know what happens during study leave, don’t we? (For the uninitiated, an obsession with the decor of your house, and inexplicably gaining weight. That’s what).

        And M, I have stopped lending my books to people. I remember I’d gone full Hermione while preparing notes for Audit during IPCC (CA-inter), I’d color coded chapters in order of difficulty and importance, attached handwritten sticky-notes in my hand written notes for easier understanding, and all of that jazz. I thought I’d keep that book to show my grandchildren what a cool student their grandmother was. (Yes, cool student. No, that’s not an oxymoron. And if they’re going to be anything like me, they’d appreciate it.) But then I lent it to this guy, who promptly flew off to his hometown WITH my book. :/ Never saw him after. I have not recovered from that heartbreak yet.

        Aiyo it pains me that I do not know your names, but @as2001blog, been an audit trainee for 2 and a half years. Got to sit across the table from CEOs of huge business conglomerates and explained to them that the way they were presenting financial information was not in line with Schedule VI. Experienced that high. But I don’t see myself doing that any longer. :) Let’s see where life takes me after this.

        So glad i met you guys here. :)

        Liked by 5 people

  12. Awesome di what an awesome chapter 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

    For the first time I see the Real Khushi underneath all that filmy dramatic girl I see the girl who was taken on a ride unfortunately by two men that she valued 😣

    I’m so disappointed in Arnav Now I get the prologue that you started out with 😢
    There’s more to this 😳😭

    But you are rocking it bring it on dii

    Sorry for the inconsistent comments 😬

    Liked by 4 people

  13. Meera.

    Congrats Priya for the dedication.

    First and foremost congrats to you. You have depicted the stupidity of 90’s that was so famous. Why just boys I even know girls who would not speak to their hearts content directly. They always needed that extra help mostly from their best friend to speak out their dil ki baat. Even our movies at that time depicted it graciously. I had few of those stupid real stupid friends who would tell me that the guy or girl they liked is just a friend. Seriously that time that i lived in was full of naivety and stupidity, Young adults these days are far more advance and I am not sure if the young readers here will understand the severity of what you have written here. Hell even letters were written by their friends since some of the guys/gals were chicken. So bravo to you woman.

    We still do not have the full back story so am not going to jump the gun. Is Arjun speaking 100% truth? We still do not have Arnav’s side of story yet. The only saving grace is that the songs on the tape which were different than those sung at Aarohan.

    Whatever Khushi does there is no way she was not going to hurt Arjun. Its difficult not to hurt the person since he was her shadow most of the time. They were together since school. Although he knows Khushi its difficult for the person to be mahaan. He will be one once time passes but today he has to be selfish and I love you for showing him the same. For breaking Khushi along with him. A heart full of hurt can not mend any one can it?

    Question of the day now is Will Khushi confront Arnav before leaving this camp? Will she be brave enough to bang both their heads as many put here? Will she be brave enough to ask questions and most important receive the honest answers?

    -Bhavi from IF

    Liked by 7 people

    1. Bhavi, thanks ☺
      Its been a while since I saw you around here.
      I think she’s going to get the hell out of there and ignore the guys. May not be the right thing to do but in the frame of mind she’s in, feeling an absolute fool it looks likely that she won’t ask nor hear anything.
      There was an innocence to those days, naivete, which resulted in all sorts of stupid stuff. Yeah the current generation may not get it.
      In my college days for couple of months, I used to get these anonymous love letters, typed on bond executive paper 😂 Never knew who it was, whether it was out of genuine feelings or just a prank. They would arrive on friday and I can remember my mom waiting with the letter in hand, for me to get back from college. My mom and aunts were more excited than me to read them, my older cousin brothers went all sherlock holmes trying to figure out who it is😂 This totally brings back all those days!

      Liked by 9 people

        1. Oh they were 😄This one aunt would call up to find out if a letter had come!!! Good times. Apparently that I didn’t show any excitement was proof enough that there was no mischeif from my side, that was their reasoning!!!

          Liked by 7 people

          1. I remember blank call days all through 11-12 grades….. everyone will get freaked out at home before the days of caller ID :) So much that my mom started suspecting any guy that would turn up at the house … it was funny and scary at the same time :)

            Liked by 7 people

      1. Hey Priya,
        I have been around. I am commenting under name of Ami. Since I was congratulating you I used my IF username. We have two Bhavis here. One of my dear friend got confused as to why I was not acting my age and calling her di.

        BOND EXECUTIVE- Really……….one would think of hallmark writing pads that were colorful with flowers and whatnot as watermark and scented but bond paper. The guy must be loaded. (lol)

        Oh the story of naivety that we have is epic. How can we forget those blank calls. I still remember someone calling my mom and telling her that I used to visit boys hostel whereas the reality was there was no need to be there since every tom dick and harry used to be at girls hostel. (lol) Our pranks too were so different. Mixing Humdard’s safi to water and giving as a drink rather than drugging someone and taking their nude pictures.

        (Humdard’s Safi used to be the most bitter medicine i have ever tasted. It was worst then quinine)

        On the reality side how is the trump effect at your place?

        Liked by 5 people

        1. Those papers were expensive right! That was one factor to narrow down likely candidates for my brothers 😄
          Safi! A cousin sister of mine used that for a while, never tried it.
          Trump effect, nothing noticeable so far

          Liked by 6 people

      2. Bond executive paper 😂 ROFL!
        P, there was a guy who would spray insane amount of (extremely strong stinging-the-nose) perfume on the letter and put in a few rose petals in the envelope mail it to me! My younger bro had the job to open it and read it aloud. I got 5 letters and then he stopped! Either he realised I wasn’t interested or he ran out of perfume, I will never know :)

        Liked by 5 people

          1. 😂😂
            Did you grow up in India?
            Yaar, there used to be this advert which had caught every teenager’s interest then, A Monte Carlo advert which used to play the song “Nothings gonna change my love for you”….this is teenage for me, can’t remember the exact time. Sigh! Beautiful song and beautiful ad.
            There was a UP ka guy in our next building who would follow me everywhere and never talk. He couldn’t sing to save his life nor speak english, but he would sing this song, rather scream this song from his bathroom! Oh god hilarious, everyone in our building waited for him to do that everyday! Was a good 2 week patch! Thoroughly enjoyed it. :D

            Liked by 5 people

                  1. Priya and Aparna (Meri Sohni),

                    I envy you guys. I never had experienced that school romance. I was (and still am) rather tiny (petite is a fancy word) and used to look freakishly younger than my age (still do).

                    I also grew up in a family full of male cousins, except for my younger sister, not a single sister in close extended family. (At least not in or before my generation of cousins). That also meant I looked like a kid (11 year old when I was 15/16) and behaved (and cursed) like a boy. :-D

                    I still look weirdly young. I was asked if I was 18 to attend a Richard Stallman lecture on Free Software (which I still wonder why). And now at the age of 38, I get asked out by 16 to 18 year old Dutch kids (most of them at least 2 feet taller than me).

                    I treated my husband when a 28 year old guy asked me out. :-D

                    That description of Aditi brought so many memories. :-D


                    Liked by 6 people

                  1. Priya!!!

                    I just watched the little Dutch girl! :-D

                    Oh, I liked the tempo and lyrics both. They are kind of old world and sweet.

                    By the way, I grew up in Mumbai, lived in Hyderabad and Bangalore before moving to land of outspoken but gentle giants. :-D


                    I have stopped my Star Trek Next Generation Marathon and waiting for the update. :-D

                    Bring it on!!!!!!!!!!!!!


                    Liked by 3 people

                    1. I knew you had grown up in the des😄 In a reply to me you had mentioned it was freezing where you lived & you hoped the canals also froze. I wanted to ask then whether you lived in the “land of windmills”. This song had also popped into my head😄 The moment passed & then you talked about young Dutch boys asking you out & the little Dutch girl popped into my head again 😄

                      Liked by 2 people

        1. Sure – social media for one provides a good breeding ground for instant screw ups. But what fun is growing up if it has to be without all that stupidity!!!! I would never wish for youthful years that is devoid of it :)

          Liked by 7 people

        2. Meera their biggest stupidity is considering parents stupid. I am not sure i will call them stupid. They are way too smart then our generation for sure. Its just their madness of social media that one can consider as a stupidity. I so wish at times that my kids behave their age and do some stupidity that i can laugh at and not scold them.

          We grew up playing on streets and they grow up playing WII and PS or worst having smart phones. We all know that as the phone went smarter people went more stupid. Irony enough. (:p)

          Liked by 7 people

          1. But I guess every generation is going to think they are smarter than the previous, and the previous is going to think oh you don’t really have the great growing up that we did. Smarter in some ways, still stupid in others. Which is why just different :)

            Liked by 8 people

            1. Sure that is the beauty of generation gap. The only issue is before we had a generation gap at 10 year difference and now at every 5 years or even less the gap is palpable.
              Sorry to deviate from the actual topic of discussion and I can not like any of the comments since i do not have WP id so sorry for spamming here

              Liked by 9 people

                    1. You have a fan for life Meera. Your words create magic. I joined the world of ARSHI too late so could not comment on each and every work of yours. Yet to think of we as a reader are blessed to have writers like you.
                      This story sorry all of your story can be sold as a fiction romance. It does not have to be a Fan Fiction. They have its own class. Yes I may just run away due to your tardiness but boredom is just something that is not a word in the dictionary for any of your stories.

                      Stay blessed

                      Liked by 9 people

                    2. Tardiness!!!! That’s like taking a dagger in the heart (not that I know what a dagger in the heart feels like but hey I can be dramatic :p) What can I say – I have taken more breaks on this one than I have with any other stories. Sigh.

                      Liked by 7 people

                    3. Why don’t I see reply button on your last response?

                      Well filmy enough Meera. Want to say Hum samajte hain Meera. Sapno ki duniya main rahena hi Accha hain, hakikat ki duniya mein to Kam hi kam hain.
                      Apke break ke bawajud hum yaha hain, bhad main Gaya tardiness aur bhad mein gaye breaks.
                      River runs through the heart and the Dhak dhak and acidity that I have when I receive the email of update makes me a teenager all over again. Sneaking out to washroom to read update without any disturbance tells you that I am here to stay.

                      Goodnight/morning guys.

                      Liked by 8 people

        3. Can confirm. From freaking out when a risky text gets a double tick on Whatsapp, or a ‘seen’ on Facebook messenger, to calling up a friend even though you KNOW she’s at work, to discuss.. waitforit, a 3 year old photo of the guy you’re interested in, the photo in question doesn’t only consist of the guy, but a very pretty girl, trying to decipher who she might be, for you have stalked her, and found nothing of substance. Going incognito and searching for these names and finding.. LinkedIn profiles, of all things. And then deciding it just isn’t meant to be. And then repeating the cycle because, ‘Dude, he’s got Salt and Pepper hair! Agar sab kuch kaam kar gaya na, I’ll have my own George Clooney!’ :D

          Liked by 8 people

          1. :-D “My own George Cloony”, I like that! :-D

            I would like to have Milind Soman, though, real one, no substitute will do :-D . I fell for him when I was 13. Saw him in a few print ads and then read his interview in a Marathi daily. And knew that even though I might like a few guys, find some of them attractive, maybe love a few and marry one (or a few, who knows when I am involved :-D ), but he was a different case. My “Colpo di fulmine”!

            (My sister was smitten by Deepak Malhotra, anyone remembers him? The guy from “Lamhe” who was used to call Sridevi “Pallo” in a weird manner?)


            Liked by 1 person

        1. Meera,

          I am just sending tea and cake. :-D

          This direct / indirect ways of trying to pry information. (Trying being a keyword). ;-)

          And I am impressed that you can give one update per week maintaining ‘that’ standard.

          As I mentioned, I am not a fan of the serial so look at it as a beautifully written novel.

          And it makes me really happy, sad. I read Aarohan update again. I still smiled. The intensity with which you feel at 18 will still remain that.


          Liked by 8 people

      1. Appu… i was trying to respond to Div’s comment yesterday and while doing so realized that there are some unknowns about Arjun that I honestly wanted to know about. And hence the question to Meera. But before I finish that comment to Divs Meera responded with her classic Errrrrr. .. so I had to work with limited information. When you get a chance, read it… let’s see how it riles you up 😉

        Liked by 6 people

  14. मुमकिना फ़ैसलों में एक हिज्र का फ़ैसला भी था
    हम ने तो एक बात की उस ने कमाल कर दिया

    Liked by 4 people

  15. Oh God , the agony!!! Want to hug Khushi tightly!!!!
    The most apt song for the emotions of the update!
    What were Arjun & Arnav thinking man!? *Holding my head* When the latter was apparantly in a break with his gf, y did He aquisize to such a scheme when he too was interested in it and even said he doesn’t hv any feelings at all? He was surely a confused soul! Poor(really?) guy!
    I can’t imagine the kind of emotions Khushi must be feeling.
    Betrayal , pity , anger , sadness must be tearing her apart!!! The boys haven’t done it intentionally I know. But my rational mind isnt succumbing to their mildly innocent
    A love n a friendship lost in one go!

    Liked by 2 people

  16. I can’t help but recall thia song at this juncture :

    Kaisi Hai Yeh Udaasi Chhaayi Mere Dil
    Kaisi Gehari Hai Yeh Tanhaayi Mere Dil
    Raahon Mein Yaadon Ki Khaamoshi Barse
    Aankhon Mein Jo Ghum Hai Aansu Ko Tarase
    Yeh Bata Yeh Kyun Huwa
    Bujh Gaya Kyun Har Diya
    Kaisi Hai Yeh Udaasi Chhaayi Mere Dil

    Ho Jo Bhi Mila Woh Kho Gaya
    Tujhako Pata Hai, Aisa Hi Sada Hota Hai
    Jaana Hi Tha Woh Jo Gaya
    Dil Tu Akela Aise Kyun Bhala Rota Hai
    Bhule Jo Hai Tujhako Abb Unako Bhul Ja Tu Bhi
    Warna Mere Saath Yaadon Ke Jakhm Kha Tu Bhi
    Maan Ja Ai Dil Mere, Bhul Ja Shikawe Gile
    Kaisi Hai Yeh Udaasi Chhaayi

    Ho Tu Hi Bata Ai Dil Mere
    Maine Toh Hamesha Tera Hi Kaha Maana Hai
    Kyun Hai Mujhe Yeh Ghum Ghere
    Mujhe Umrr Bhar Kya Bas Yahin Saja Paana Hai
    Sapane Boye Maine Aur Dard Maine Hai Kaante
    Gaaye Geet Maine Aur Paaye Maine Sannaate
    Aaraju Na Kam Hai, Suni Si Har Shaam Hai
    Kaisi Hai Yeh Udaasi Chhaayi Mere Dil
    Kaisi Gehari Hai Yeh Tanhaayi.

    Liked by 2 people

  17. what happened……………..oh kushi ki bacchi tu already confused and these two are adding more….

    sorry to say this I guess Arjun is the culprit here, he knows kushi has feelings for Arnav, knowing everything he purposefully hide it to kushi, because he can take he is blaming kushi, don’t know….I am sooo sad for what Arjun did…

    now kushi ask Arnav to leave and forget her…may this separation will get some stability in her…

    thanks for the update…cheersif id kushiarnav1.

    Liked by 2 people

    The whole comment got deleted. … i hate WP Meera.
    But i love River.
    Although, No energy to type all again.

    So here goes the brief.

    Arjun Khushi Convo…7 Stars. *******
    Khushi deciding to take a break…. 5 stars *****
    Khushi internal monologue…..i am getting tired of the negativity there. *
    Arnav need to own up and Man up. like seriously.
    Arjun need to reevaluate how his true friends are and stop being a leaning tower Pisa and stop idolizing Arnav,
    neither of them (AV and Khushi) deserve his patience nor his honesty.
    Khushi need to reevaluate with maturity and not by comparing 2 situations that are no where near similar.
    Distance will definitely do all them a world of good….ESP Arjun.

    The only one that actually came out honest and very sure of the feeling is Arjun. this chapter gives him 7 stars for sure.
    Khushi about 4 stars
    and Arnav….lets not even go there.

    Ladies and Meera……sorry if i would upset anyone, brickbats. chappal, tamatar all welcomed. just know that its still me, your sanki Avni and this is my honestly opinion to the wonderful story that Meera weaves which evokes all kinds of weird varied feeling within all of us making us all almost recreate GOP debate stage of 2016.
    But just for the record, I choose to be a neutral party for now and will let Meera unfold her tale. :)

    Go River !!!! ;)

    Liked by 9 people

      1. Ahhhhh it would certainly have made it even better if I had access to my beloved emojis. 😂😜

        Kaise ha Lav,…..who is supporting u with Arjun this week dear…..poor chap yaar,…..log bhi na abhi abhi piche se baat karate hai….phir sorry ka Kya faida jiska na koi ata pata bhi nahi.

        Bachara Arjun his this week song is:

        Dil ke arman ansuon Mein behe Gaye…
        Hum waffa karke bhi Tanha rehe Gaye….

        Liked by 8 people

  19. How can Arnav and Arjun do like this?? This was like they were deliberately playing with Khushi’s feelings. They both knew what or rather whom Khushi had in her heart yet they made decisions for her which was not required. Just because Arnav thought it was not possible for him to hook up with Khushi at that point of time, he disregarded Khushi’s feelings for him and served them on a platter to Arjun. And Arjun, who knew how Khushi felt for Arnav accepted this and made plans to woo Khushi. Why couldn’t they both leave Khushi just like that so she could have made her decisions on her own.. What the!!!

    I feel like both of them played with Khushi and now I feel like thrashing them left, right and center.
    Not only Khushi, even am feeling betrayed. This is so not happening.

    Let’s see how you proceed further for this. Looking forward to reading the next update.

    Lots Of Love.. :) :)

    Liked by 4 people

  20. Talking of 90s…. can anyone top this one? Irritating earworm… aaj subeh subeh shuru ho gaya 😟😂
    We can of course discuss La Dixit’s wig in this song some other day! 🙄

    <Rabbi re ralli.. gulaab ki kali
    Dil churaa ke mera.. tu duur kahaan chali!!!!

    Heard this one Meeru?

    Liked by 7 people

    1. I know this one!!!! (And many more such)

      Not just this wig! Do you remember a hideous hairstyle called Step cut which became popular (thanks to La Dixit) during 90s?

      Liked by 8 people

  21. It has been long i commented here… Am extremely sorry.. Every time i read ur posts i feel guilty fr not commenting.. I will try to do it regularly next time.

    I love ur stories.. But ds one is quite different. Can’t hate any character here n am loving arjun a bit more dan arnav.. Wil khushi run away but in d prologue she is with arjun.. Waiting for the next part..

    Liked by 4 people

  22. Hurt, anger and insecurity can cause people to say and do things they dont mean and this could sometimes lead to a lot of emotional heartbreak! Perhaps even permanent!

    Also, when a person is feeling these emotions, it is unlikely that he or she will really listen to any other person because they are so immersed in their own feelings and thoughts. A small part of it could be self-pity too.

    After reading the last few chapters, I feel that there is no one person that can be blamed for this mess of a situation, where everyone is hurt (Arnav will soon be told I guess). They are all young, made assumptions and judgements.

    But to get into each of their minds and write about it so well – kudos to you Meera!

    Liked by 5 people

  23. तेरी बारिश तले
    मधहोशी ने अपना लिया |
    हक़ीकत बन गया हो जैसे
    आरज़ू ने ज़िंदगी से जो केह दिया ||

    पर आसमान छूती दिल की उडान से
    रौशनी छिन्न गयी |
    अंधेरों कि बाहों में
    अकेली मैं रेह गयी ||

    शिकायत कि धुंध में
    दर्बदर फिर्ती |
    प्यार की देहलीज़ से
    बिन बोले लौटी ||

    दूरी को हम मंज़ूर
    अब ना दर्द से हम परे |
    किसी दिन मिल जाये तो
    दास्तान नयी होगी हमारी ||

    इश़्क के इस इम्तिहान में
    मुश्किलें अभी है बाकी |
    दर्द-ए-रिश्तों के ढ़लानों में
    रातें हज़ारो गुज़ारनी है बाकी ||

    रातें हज़ारो गुज़ारनी है बाकी…

    Teri baarish tale
    Madhoshi ne apna liya
    Haqeeqat ban gaya ho jaise
    Aarzu ne zindagi se jo keh diya

    Par aasmaan chooti dil ki udaan se
    Roshni chinn gayi
    Andheron ki baahon mein
    Akeli main reh gayi

    Shikaayat ki dhundh mein
    Darbadar phirti
    Pyaar ke dehleez se
    Bin bole lauti

    Doori ko hum manzoor
    Ab na dard se hum pare
    Kisi din mil jaaye toh
    Daastaan nayi hogi humari

    Ishq ke iss imtehaan mein
    Mushkilein abhi hain baaki
    Dard-e-rishton ke dhalaanon mein
    Ab raatein hazaaron guzaarni hain baaki

    Ab raatein hazaaron guzaarni hain baaki…

    Liked by 8 people

    1. Nivi,……Kya dard e dil wali Dastaan chand labzon Mein Bayaan karli.

      Doori ko hum manzoor
      Ab na dard se hum pare
      Kisi din mil jaaye toh
      Daastaan nay

      The above is making me hopeful but abhi philhaal to sirf andhera andhera hi hain 😟😔

      Liked by 9 people

  24. Ae dil hai mushkil.
    Your story would have made a better movie then the one just released.
    I completely agree with Inasaahil’s comment. I also feel that there is more to it than meets the eye.
    If Arnav is such a gentleman (which we are told and shown repeatedly) then why he wanted Arjun to be the one to tell Khushi.
    Eagerly waiting for Nadiya to find its way to her destined ocean after this detour.

    Liked by 2 people

  25. OMG…..! Arnav n khushi are going to go seperate ways….aren’t they.
    I was just brooding when i remembered d prologue…and read it again …….why r arjun khushi back 2 being friends? .
    So many questions…..impatiently waiting for d nxt chapter…..this story is fab…and feels so real.
    Keep it up ….and thanks for posting it.

    Liked by 2 people

  26. Beautifully expressed emotions, insights into motives and expression of feelings and yet I could not connect with any of them or feel any empathy. I feel like Khushi is bending over backwards to feel unworthy to be an object of Arnav’s affections. Arjun displays too much peevishness and Arnav is too secretive. But I love the drama.

    Liked by 4 people

  27. Actually I am loving the experience of reading from a detached observer perch. Unlike when I am reading EIT or CW when I am feeling every emotion magnified.

    Liked by 5 people

  28. I don’t blame Arnav , Kushi nor Arjun for what happened during Arohan. If we were to think from each persons perspective they were right in their own space .. albeit a tard immature so were we during our college days. The feeling that it evoked in our young kings was new and we weren’t able to comprehend it lest of all act on it. Arnav had a committed relationship with Samira although it was not going well as he wanted and then started liking Kushi . We was caught in between and not very sure of his feelings for Kushi so didn’t want to rock the boat. Arjun feelings for Kushi were known to Arnav and when he asked him to sing a different set of songs for her he accepted it for his friend . Arjun guessed Kushi’s feelings for Arnav but he too was not sure how deep they were and I am sure neither did Kushi herself. So judging your relationship now or the person on what happened some years ago esp when there was uncertainty all around is not fair.

    It is important how Arnav and Kushi move foward from now on.. Arnav needs to be certain of his feelings for Kushi and come out clean to remove all doubts from her mind about the days of Arohan and Samira. Kushi needs to come out of this insecure feeling .. “am I good for him”? “What does he see in me”.For that you need to develop in sense of respect for yourself and move way from superficial aspects of physicality. As for Arjun some things are not meant to be .. but he has a great friendship with Kushi that is worth much more and they should cherish it irrespective of what happens with her relationship with Arnav

    Phew.. that was a long one by my standards and hope it made sense

    Liked by 3 people

  29. Amazing update meera…
    Finally everyone including khushi knows what happened four years back …
    Two most men in khushi’s life betrayed her and took her for granted…the song is so apt for khushi…
    Arnav wanted arjun to spill the beans and he did it …
    Curiously wait to know how khushi will come out this as a winner…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh the a n v symbol……Surfaced. Wonder if it will make and appearance again or will Khushi forget her diary back for Arnav to find….😜😝 that would be so cool ….so when they meet again he has used the symbol for his business.

      Can do make another one similar to this but with the *V* reflecting under the *A* in itallics as if the *A* is on the banks of the water and another *A* is reflecting in the water without the line across. So basically the the legs of A and hand of V are touching,
      Damn after I read what I wrote, it’s not even making sense to me….hope it does to u.

      Meera oh Meera…..u have to answer which is the closest image of the logo she drew after Sohni posts the next one…

      Sohni.😘🤗…now YOU made me all excited for the story, Warna philhaal Iss divided blog ko Kya naam doon yaar 😂

      Liked by 6 people

    2. Pretty close and exuding luxury / elegance(Louis Vuitton?)!

      When the story reaches it’s end, I’ll use my pathetic drawing skills and post my version (as well as I can translate thought into image – i am no artist!)

      Liked by 7 people

      1. “Exuding luxury/elegance, (Louis Vuitton?)….”…..aur kuchh??? Someone is in a taang kheecho mode today!!! :)
        The doodle image in my head from what you’ve described, matched someone else’s creativity and so I copied the link here.

        Liked by 6 people

  30. Meera,

    Sorry for turning up at the eleventh hour, as this chapter gets ready to make way for another spectacular one. I have not been too well, and truly missed all the excitement down the river last Monday. As I was telling Anu, I missed me in the comment thread of the chapter and all the fun sparring and egging all of the sisterhood on. The River is my go-to therapy hot spot, my panacea for life’s challenges…no seriously! Loved the opening sequence where they just ended up falling asleep with each other. Such comfort levels already….but then again, it has been four years of knowing and caring,…..has it not? I do hope Khushi gets to clarify Arnav’s stand in the whole tape mix up. I hope they don’t part acrimoniously. Sigh, it is all so mixed up….isn’t it? Cannot wait for the journey simply because that is the point where lovers meet. Or do they? Too late to nominate a song for this update now, but can I just say, the one that is most compelling for this update is ‘Abhi mujhme kahi, baking thodi si hai zindagi’ from Agnipath. Too gripping this situation now. The idiocy and naïveté of two young teens and a woman that had a poor self image and could not hold herself in high self esteem…waiting, waiting, waiting! ❤️️👏🏻



    Liked by 8 people

  31. Today is Monday and since morning i am gungano-ing these lines..

    Mehfil mein teri hum na rahe jo gum toh nahi hain, gum toh nahi hain
    Kisse humare nazdeekiyon k kum toh nahi hain, kum toh nahi hain..

    Ranbir+ArHi+Arijit = Divine 😍

    Liked by 5 people

  32. Sorry for not commenting as my exams are coming next month so was studying.
    I won’t be commenting on your every post but I would rather try to share my views.
    Now coming to the update, here in this chap. Khushi is the one who was badly hurt , one by his best friend & one by Arnav.
    They should have talked to Khushi instead of keeping her in dark.
    Khushi should take break from these two and enjoy life like any other carefree chap.
    Let’s see what is her decision in the next post.
    As usual Meera dhamakedaar update from you. The way you reveal the truth in front of Khushi by Arjun was mind blowing.
    I could really feel what Khushi was going through.

    Liked by 1 person

  33. Hello Meera
    Sorry for my late comment.kahani may twist.
    So khushi decide to keep distance from both, liked it.
    Arjun he is very smart, he can be good , he can be bad,
    Thank u
    Again sorry for late comment

    Liked by 2 people

  34. The questions Khushi has in mind are exactly going on here too. I also wonder why Arjun chose the words he did. ‘…there could never be.’ Are these exactly the thoughts of Arnav then I m so disappointed. That now they are together in the last 24 hours, he should have cleared things out, but didn’t. At least his part of the story that was necessary to be talked of before proceeding to tell she was not mistaken four years ago and he just couldn’t act in it then. Khushi! 😥😰😰😰😰
    Going on to the next chapter. Hoping to catch up to the present jaldi!

    Liked by 1 person

  35. What a mess , there is a feeling of betrayal on behalf of Khushi, at the same time , I dont think there was any
    towards any body by anyone . Arnav could have sung on behalf of Arjun to ease his guilt because he definitely
    sent feelers to Khusi,he could have refused to sing or casually mentioned Saira in front of Khushi She would have been heartbroken but at least there was a chance she would move on. Why did Arjun use Arnav to sing for him?, he had an inkling of her feelings? , why didn’t he tell her about Saira?
    sometimes there is no deep thinking behind one ‘s actions but the very same action can lead to momentous decisons
    years later.Or should we just blame it on youthful immaturity.

    Liked by 1 person

  36. Everyone expressed what I felt..why arnav encouraged Arjun and why did he not talk about that to khushi? Poor Arjun, he should have come earlier even if it ment a no from khushi.

    The timing was definitely not in his favor for even his friendship. And what was that Arnav kept insisting Arjun to let her know..was it this?

    Heartbreaking chapter..let’s see what’s in store for them..

    Liked by 1 person

  37. Hello Meera,
    A long time back, a very long time back, after I had read a splendid Chapter(21) written by you. I promised that I would not be silent anymore but I am more than ashamed to guilty of being that. Some things came up in life and I was not an active reader anymore, but I did browse through the Chapters to see what was happening, however I couldn’t(didn’t) post any comments after that. I couldn’t forget and take easy on the promise I made, especially when we have such amazing writers like you who are putting such an incredible effort to pen down such beautiful work and also making it available to readers. I believe the least I can do is share my thoughts on it. So here I am(although very late) to post my comments.
    Now coming back to the story. Arjun’s feelings though were transparent, there was always a little mystery in them. It was slightly apparent that he was interested in Khushi but what had exactly kept him silent for all these years given his rather jovial nature, always gave a benefit of doubt that his feelings might have been in passing. But this Chapter takes us on surprise ride not only regarding Arjun but with Arnav as well. The fact that he harbored such intense feelings for a long time and found it difficult to express and took the help of a person with whom he thought his love was interested in makes it complicated for everyone. The songs which were such a beautiful experience for Khushi were sung with an ulterior motive. I can clearly understand her state of mind after learning about the past. Although Arjun’s frustration might be understandable but it is very difficult not to get angry with what he has done and the accusations he is throwing at Khushi. With Khushi’s lack of confidence when it comes to her relation with Arnav, now she has learnt that Arnav had assumed that they were never meant to be. Just when I thought that things were returning to normal between the couple, you have dropped a bomb Meera, but what is a love story without such twists.


  38. Hello Meera,
    A long time back, a very long time back, after I had read a splendid Chapter(21) written by you. I promised that I would not be silent anymore but I am more than ashamed to guilty of being that. Some things came up in life and I was not an active reader anymore, but I did browse through the Chapters to see what was happening, however I couldn’t(didn’t) post any comments after that. I couldn’t forget and take easy on the promise I made, especially when we have such amazing writers like you who are putting such an incredible effort to pen down such beautiful work and also making it available to readers. I believe the least I can do is share my thoughts on it. So here I am(although very late) to post my comments.
    Now coming back to the story. Arjun’s feelings though were transparent, there was always a little mystery in them. It was slightly apparent that he was interested in Khushi but what had exactly kept him silent for all these years given his rather jovial nature, always gave a benefit of doubt that his feelings might have been in passing. But this Chapter takes us on surprise ride not only regarding Arjun but with Arnav as well. The fact that he harbored such intense feelings for a long time and found it difficult to express and took the help of a person with whom he thought his love was interested in makes it complicated for everyone. The songs which were such a beautiful experience for Khushi were sung with an ulterior motive. I can clearly understand her state of mind after learning about the past. Although Arjun’s frustration might be understandable but it is very difficult not to get angry with what he has done and the accusations he is throwing at Khushi. With Khushi’s lack of confidence when it comes to her relation with Arnav, now she has learnt that Arnav had assumed that they were never meant to be. Just when I thought thought that things were returning to normal between the couple, you have dropped a bomb Meera, but what is a love story without such twists.

    Liked by 2 people

  39. So that was Arjun’s selection on those songs. So that’s what the secrets both were hiding.
    Well said Khushi. They both played her & best option for her is to get away from both. Let them stew on their own account. Keeping secrets from her…

    Liked by 1 person

  40. Seee… sneakpot! I hate Arjun for throwing such a fit…
    There got tht off my head…
    But seriously, as assumed, if he cant have Khushi,no one should?
    He hurt her by blurting,just coz he thinks it will make AV seem in bad light too.. just wish AV had told her, rather than trusting Arjun to do the right thing.

    Liked by 1 person

  41. O God…….I am feeling betrayed here…so wat must khushi had been going through…. I am feeling so much hate towards both arnav and arjun…both played enough with her feelings….and arjun I am most disappointed about him
    ..I always thought that he doesn’t deserve this…but now…he definitely deserves this..not because he used arnav’s help…its because ten years passed but he never said that to khushi….only arnav’s presence triggers’s his confession about this is he doesn’t want khushi to end up with arnav….not friendship…..selfishness is wat I am seeing in arjun now..
    he wants to break her heart like she had done..and now I get the correct reason for arnav’s guilt…he never felt nothing for her…it was all for arjun….

    Liked by 2 people

  42. Heartbreaking. Two people she cared for were trying to decide who should confess. How is Kaveri, Khushi Gupta going to deal with this feeling of betrayal?
    Loved this turn in the river. Thank you, Meera.

    Liked by 2 people

  43. Khushi’s feeling betrayed..
    n rightly so..
    But Arjun is still at her side in the Prologue..
    Y couldn’t she forgive Arnav..

    But for now,her anger n hurt is justified..
    No one has a right to decide for her..
    I like her strength..

    Liked by 2 people

  44. What just happened?
    That revelation is too hurtful. She enjoyed the songs and sang with AV, thinking he was singing them for her. Wasn’t that mixed tape a collection of those songs?
    In Arnav’s defence, he did say he was confused. Arjun was not wrong either. I know Khushi never said she has someone in her life. There was no one in reality. But, now Arjun does not want to believe that Khushi is rejecting because she doesn’t feel anything romantically about him, but he thinks there has to be someone. If that someone happened to be Arnav, his mind is not willing to accept because until yesterday Khushi claimed there is no one. Everyone is feeling betrayed.
    So, this is how they got separated yet again to meet after 5 years again. In the current day, it looks like Arjun knows about Arnav attending the program, but hid it from Khushi.

    Liked by 2 people

  45. Both played with kh s Dil &dimaag like movies, two friends in love with a girl
    Bol radha bol sangam,hoga ki nahi sang – Rajkapoor to Vyju, while Rajendrakumar bowed out for dosti
    Salman couldn’t sing / write to save his life , but posed as Saagar ( Sanju) to woo Madhuri singing Bohot pyaar karte hain
    Meera , have u heard the saying
    Bros before Hoes
    Arnav looks like the worst of the two
    Arjun also lashed out in pain , called out both kh & AV sir s truth
    Why did he wait till he saw AV at the camp
    Same with Varun
    Why did he not come for kh after Saira broke up with him , ok he was busy with his career but he cannot chance pe dance conveniently saying what if that u want is available
    When she was going to accept Arjun , he kissed her
    I tell you , take a break from both men , clean cut
    Arnav should deserve kh , he should be sure about himself & feelings


  46. The pain in this chapter… The heartbreaks are so heart wrenching..
    Khushi is feeling a double edged sword twisting her insides.. The spoken and unspoken words of Arjun and Arnav.. Actions hidden from her in the name of their friendship.. An evening 4 years ago broke her heart and today the same evening opened up its uglier secrets.. The secrets she had no idea about, shattered her heart again..
    She rightly feels like an idiot.. The price of being oblivious is wretched surprises.. They couldn’t have come at a worst time as she was just beginning to believe that she and Arnav could somehow have a future.. The morning that began so promisingly has been crushed.. She will not utter his name again for a long time.

    Arjun’s desperation and insecurity is understandable.. She has been friends with him but never shared her real feelings about Arnav. Being a good friend he could still notice them but the lover in him did not accept.. Now his dearest friendships are broken too. He loves Khushi but also adored Arnav.. Did he never ask Arnav why he sang the way he sang.. Like he meant every word, not for Arjun but himself. Or may be it was too scary to ask and receive a truthful answer.. That “No was always the only option” line is the poignant summary of his fears..

    Arnav spoke about feeling more guilty as longer you hold on to a secret, little had I realized earlier that he was living with that guilt too and those were not just advising words but the true lived advice..

    What an achingly beautiful chapter woman, you have words for every feeling and then some.. 🙏

    Liked by 1 person

  47. the age old practise of men making decisions for women without telling them. I totally and completely empathize with Kaveri. I can understand her sense of betrayal and anger. I can see why she wants to run away from both men.

    Liked by 1 person

  48. Oh that’s the reason the songs got changed! But I don’t think that was a good idea to implement at all! As he already knew how Khushi felt about AV! How did he expect it to work? I feel while singing the songs something might have changed for Arnav. He had just taken break from one relationship which effected his family, might be that was the reason for him to say that there could never be!


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