Thank you all for being with the River!

When she first awoke that Saturday morning, three weekends since she’d returned to Bangalore, her head was heavy and her heart bobbing lightly in her chest. The first few moments of dawn went by in wonderment of her own duality of the moment.  Was she happy or was she anxious – she couldn’t tell. Minutes passed by as she let her thoughts settle. When she opened her eyes and let her shoulders droop, she realized she was letting her body relax when she hadn’t even known it was rigid with tension.

The answer was simple. She needed to lose weight. And she needed to do it fast. Perhaps going back and joining a formal weight loss program – like the one Shyam had joined – was the only option. And till then, it would have to be a strict diet and perhaps some exercise if she could manage it. The piece of cake she had wolfed down on Friday afternoon was probably the last fun thing she had eaten for a few months.

Pushing herself out of bed, she quickly went about finishing her morning ablutions and chores around the house. The fact that Arjun was still in the US and that Raagini had just returned from a break earlier this week meant that her apartment was squeaky clean and intensely lonely. Calls with Arnav were limited to late nights and early mornings and despite all the help they had from technology, the distance was really hard to deal with. Timezone differences meant that when Khushi was free, Arnav was getting ready for work and vice versa. He had once asked her if she was the kind of person who believed long distance relationships were tough. She’d laughed at the ridiculousness of that question at the time. Now, half a decade later, she finally understood the depth behind it. She couldn’t wait for him to get back to India. Knowing that she’d just been staffed on a six month project in India which would need her to travel little and even then only domestically, gave her hope that things would be better once he was back. Especially since he’d also declared that he was trying to find more work to sell and deliver in the country.

Patience, she told herself as she poured a cup of sugarless tea for herself and took it with her to settle down with her paperback. She was catching up with Raagini later in the day and suddenly, she couldn’t wait to meet her friend. How life and times changed, she muttered to herself with a rueful smile before losing herself in the story that was waiting to be picked up from where she’d last left it off.

————-

“Fuck!”

Raagini chuckled out aloud, her eyebrows touching her brow as she stepped in for a quick hug.

“How?” Khushi asked, her mouth agape in wonderment as she looked at a visibly thinner Raagini.

“With a lot of walking and very little eating.” Raagini answered wryly as they followed the maitre’d to their table. “I cannot tell you how much I am looking forward to this lunch. I am going to eat today.”

Khushi watched in awe as they sat down on the opposite sides of the small table. “I am not sure I am going to be able to eat at all now. Raagini – this,” She looked around at her favorite Italian restaurant and shook her head, “was a bad idea. I am going to die of sheer torture now.” She looked again at Raagini’s well defined facial contours and shining skin and sighed. “You look so good! I hate that.”

Raagini smiled. “You are two seconds away from calling me bitch, aren’t you?”

Khushi laughed and nodded. “I am. I wouldn’t have said it out aloud but…” She shrugged as the waitress came around to take their orders. After much err-ing, both girls decided they would skip mains and order salads and desserts. “Completely unhealthy” Raagini pointed out, “But hey I am on a break today and you will start from dinner today, okay?”

“Okay,” Khushi replied as she handed her menu back and then placed her hand on the table. Here was a story, one she needed to hear desperately and she wasn’t about to waste a moment of it. “So, tell me everything. And end with how I can start.”

Raagini grinned. “Believe me, the beginning is something you don’t want to emulate.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Khushi pointed out.

“A week after you left for Detroit, I woke up in the morning one day and couldn’t get out of bed.”

Khushi frowned. “Huh?”

“I couldn’t sit up,” Raagini’s smile softened and voice dropped. “My back…it gave out.”

Khushi stared at her friend in silence. “Gave out?”

“It seems I have degenerated discs in my spine.”

“Oh God!” Khushi exclaimed. “Slipped disc?”

“Not exactly. Medically there is some difference between these conditions but okay for the purpose of this conversation…” Raagini smiled.

“How did this happen?” Khushi whispered incredulously. “And how did you even get to the hospital to get all these tests done?”

“I stayed like that for a couple of hours. Then I was able to sit up slowly. I called Namit,” She said, referring to one of their colleagues. “Thankfully it was a Saturday, so he drove me to the doctor and then multiple tests, MRIs…” Raagini trailed off. “Bottomline, the one thing that became non-negotiable was losing weight.”

“But you were not obese!”

“BMI says I was…I still am nowhere close to BMI indicated ideal weight.”

“Some studies say…”

“That BMI is not the right indicator?” Raagini completed what she had started to say. “I know. But you have to start somewhere, you need some reference. So there it is. The ultimatum, however, came because I have a weak back. The doctor told me that if I want to be able to dance again, be able to carry a baby, be able to sleep without worrying about snapping into two…”

“Shit, Ramu!” Khushi interrupted, her heart hammering in sheer terror as she heard Raagini’s calmy uttered words. “I am so sorry!”

She shook her head. “Don’t be. I was scared but I think it was a wake up call I needed.”

It was a very expensive wake up call if there was ever one, Khushi thought to herself and then realized that she was on the brink of an equally harsh debit from life if she didn’t do something about it quickly. Perhaps her debit would not be medical. Perhaps hers would be what she feared most of all, what she had no reason to expect and still worried about every breathing moment since that evening when Arnav had told her how he felt….

“Anyway,” Raagini continued, ending Khushi’s tumble down a familiar spiral. “I had to take two weeks off work – that was what was happening when you pinged one day and I told you I am off work. Before I headed back to work, Shyam called one day – to ask after my health – which was very sweet and completely unexpected. But when he called – I had my lightbulb moment. I asked him how he went about that weight loss center. To his credit, he was not shocked or offended. Instead, he gave me the number of his weight loss consultant at the center and even put in a word. I joined three days later. And this…” She mock bowed, “is the new, improved me.”

Khushi sat silently for many moments in which time their salads arrived. “I don’t know whether to be happy or sad about your weight loss story anymore,” She confessed as soon as the waitress left them to enjoy their meal.

Raagini chuckled.

“I mean, are you able to dance now? Is the spine problem solved?”

She shook her head. “No. And I don’t know if it will be solved this easily. I am going to try everything to make sure surgery is the last option. So, weight loss isn’t solving the problem but as my doctor says, it’s not getting worse.”

Khushi smiled sadly. “I wish I had been around to help. I am so sorry, Ramu.”

“I know. I can’t dance! Imagine that. I miss that the most.”

Khushi shook her head. “Unbelievable.” She said as they dug into their food. “Of all the things you miss – dancing!”

“Priorities, darling.” Raagini answered. “Anyway, enough about me. Tell me about your trip, Ms. Amreeka-return. How was Wyatt? How was it working with AV?”

Perhaps it was the stress of the distance or the tenor of the conversation that had just ended, Khushi didn’t have to work too hard to not blush. She made some quick, non-committal replies about work and about Arnav. Raagini made some comments about her being lucky which Khushi dismissed pleasantly. She replaced Raagini’s questions with some of her own about Raagini’s project experiences. The meaningless friendly exchange continued well past salad and into dessert.

It was halfway through dessert that Khushi picked up the thread of their conversation about weight again.

“Of course. Come along tomorrow morning and I’ll make the introduction. If I am able to lose weight, I am sure it will work for you too.”

“Thank you,” Khushi replied. “I will. I just need to get started on this with quick results. The fact that nothing moves on the weighing scale is just too frustrating.”

“I hear you,” Raagini responded. “And I am going to regret this tiramisu when I step on that scale tomorrow – yes, they weigh you every time you go. Let me warn you – this is not for the faint hearted.”

Khushi chuckled. “I am willing to try anything here. I was this close to buying a TVC sauna belt yesterday, you know.”

“I know!” Raagini exclaimed. “God, I’ve lost track of the number of imes I have almost placed an order on the phone!” She laughed out aloud. “Chalo, good. I will have company again. I am hitting my first plateau – it will be motivating to have you around. It really does feel good to imagine that your body is getting healthier.”

Khushi rolled her eyes. “I couldn’t care less about my health at the moment. At the most, it’s a happy coincidence.”

Raagini looked at her oddly for a second and then smiled almost shrewdly. “It’s a guy, isn’t it?”

Khushi’s face flushed. So much for not blushing.

“It is a guy!” Raagini said out aloud, causing several of those around them to look in their direction. “Shit, sorry. But…damn! Now that is an interesting life!”

“Hardly interesting when you are wondering what he sees in you.” Khushi muttered under her breath and pushed her dessert away. It tasted like crap anyway. Where was a gooey chocolate cake when you needed one?

“Kaveri,” Raagini began a moment later and then seemed to change her mind. She nodded and went back to her cake.

“No, say it. I cannot keep imagining what you were going to.” Khushi insisted.

Her friend sighed. “Okay. If you are losing weight for a guy, don’t do it. It won’t work. If it isn’t there already, it won’t magically come because you weigh a stone or two lesser.”

Khushi remained silent. She didnt want to correct Raagini’s assumption that it was not a guy she was hoping to attract – that part was strangely taken care of. It was a guy she was hoping to retain long enough to last a lifetime.

“Believe me, I have been there.”

“A guy?”

“Yup” Raagini quipped. “I did the entire weight loss drama “for him”. It didn’t matter. He couldn’t have cared less and in the end it was a stupid Mummy ko dark skinned Madrasi ladki nahi chahiye sequence that spoilt the whole thing.”

Khushi bit down a flare of annoyance at an unknown set of people. “That was the problem?”

Raagini sighed. “Yes. And I know what you are thinking. We are top tier b-school educated women. These things shouldn’t happen to us.”

Khushi shook her head. “No, I know they do. I am just saddened by the futility of such non-sense. Like two people don’t have enough drama of their own to deal with that they need this caste, creed, color, religion shit clouding their vision.”

There was silence on the table following Khushi outburst as both girls fiddled with their cutlery and waded through the shadows of their individual and collective lives.

“There is no chance of anything working out?” Khushi asked eventually, unable to accept that heartache still existed so painfully in the lives of those around her.

Raagini shook her head. “I’ve stopped thinking about it. Too much time has been spent trying to make it work. Sometimes it is just not meant to be.”

And it was at that somber note that Khushi carried with her long after the afternoon was over.

————-

“Why aren’t you on Facebook?”

She shouldn’t have been surprised by the question. It was one she got asked fairly often. But coming from… “Are you on Facebook?” She asked instead, returning his surprise with some of her own.

“I am heartbroken that you haven’t looked for me yet.”

Her heart skipped and rumbled gaily in her chest. This side of him was even better than the person she thought he was all the time. “Practice is everything,” She replied with a small chuckle. “I spent many years training to not google your name.”

She regretted the words as soon as they were out of her mouth. Where had this come from? She was most likely PMS’ing. What else could explain the moroseness that was her mood this evening? Especially when she had no reason to be anything less than dreamy and bursting with love. It had been four weeks since she’d come back from Detroit and every day had started and ended with conversations like this one. Text exchanges filled her days and nights. She slept little and still didn’t find herself battling yawns all day. She found herself smiling – unexpectedly, by herself and a lot – not necessarily in that order. Work had transformed from supporting small pieces of disconnected research to her next full time project, this time offshore data analytics for a project with one of Wyatt’s key competitiors – it wasn’t her favourite kind of work to do but it kept her spirits up and gave her enough mindspace to focus on life and all the beautiful and not-so-beautiful things that came with it.

No, she had no reason to be morose; she had no reason to bring up the past as painfully as she just had. “Sorry,” She apologized before Arnav could speak. “I don’t mean for that to sound as sad as it did. It was just…”

“I am sorry, Khushi. For what happened and for my role in it.”

Now she felt like an absolute jerk. What was wrong with her? “No, please…don’t…” She took a deep breath. “I am sorry. I really didn’t mean it the way it came out.”

There was a moment’s silence before he spoke. “I know. And I am glad you aren’t measuring your words.”

Ha! Wasn’t she? Wasn’t he?

“But I am sorry nevertheless.”

She bit back the sense of rising irritation, clamping down on a feeling that was entirely baseless and most likely the result of all the days she’d spent now actively pining for his proximity. She needed to change the subject. “I am not fond of social media. I was on Facebook but it somehow seems like a place where people present an alternate view of their life where nothing is wrong and every opinion is strong…I got tired and I left.”

He laughed softly. “I am not actively on any platforms either. I just happened to log in to my account today after many months and somehow ended up looking for you and…It was a simple question.”

This was her fault. He was being perfectly normal and she had to go and ruin it so that he was choosing his words carefully again. Why? Why couldn’t she be one of those people who could go from melancholy to carefully constructed cheer with little effort and much conviction? “So why did you login to Facebook today?” Excellent, Kaveri Gupta. Brilliant effort, she chided herself dryly.

“To update my relationship status.”

She rolled her eyes and regretted having said no to a video call – how she’d have loved to see his expression right now! Alas, she’d been putting off getting her eyebrows threaded and her face was positively hirsute at the moment – not a visual she wanted to present ever and especially not to the man who had little reason to love her in the first place. “And what did you choose? It’s complicated?”

He laughed. “It is not complicated in the least. Not anymore! And wait, I thought there’d be more of a reaction to that statement. Are you saying I can go ahead and pick a more appropriate option?”

“I am saying nothing of the sort.” She snorted and then rolled over to her stomach, putting her phone on speaker and placing it in front of her. “When are you coming back?”

“Thirteen days.” He replied instantly, like he’d been thinking of it too.

“That’s two weekends away.” She whined and then put her head down on her bed, smothering her gasp of longing that seemed to rest at the tip of her tongue when she spoke to him on the phone. I miss you didn’t begin to cover the extent of her yearning. She was boorish and cranky and it was all his fault.

“So, is it now a good time to ask why you are….” He hesitated. “Er…In a less than good mood?”

He noticed. Of course he noticed. “I am not…” She began instinctively and then decided there was no point lying. “I am hungry.”

You are hungry.” He reconfirmed and then chuckled softly. “That’s an easy fix, baby. Get something to eat. I am sure you have something to….”

“I am on a diet and all I have at home is fattening crap.” She bit out. “And I don’t feel like munching on a carrot stick. Or drinking a glass of milk.”

He chuckled some more but this time, there was a hint of deeper bemusement in his voice. “What sort of a diet is this? If you are hungry, just eat something.”

A roll of annoyance completely misplaced flushed through her blood stream. “I can’t just eat anything. That’s what’s got me to this place. I need to lose weight.” Shiv-ji, why was she telling him all this? He was not going to be able to help. This was her decision, her resolution to find confidence that she would be able to live up to his expectations and desires. Why was she dragging him into her mess? This was for her to solve.

“Eating so little that you are hungry at bed-time is not the answer, baby. Eat normal, wholesome food and find a way to burn more than you take in. Come on, I am sure you know this.”

“Ha! Easy for you to say. You spend an hour on the treadmill like it’s your own personal daily vacation. I can’t walk for thirty minutes at six kilometers an hour without feeling like my heart will give out!”

He chuckled softly. “Baby steps. Nobody gets to high fitness levels overnight.”

She frowned and bit back a grumble. “Whatever.”

“You think I’m preaching.”

“Of course, I think you are preaching.” She stated sulkily.

“Achcha baba, I am sorry. I don’t mean to sound condescending. Giving advice comes naturally to me now, unfortunately. You should tell me to cut it out when it gets out of hand.”

She frowned for a second before a smile tugged at her lips. “I am sorry I am being grumpy. And I know about the advice part. It’s just suddenly strange to be on the other side. I feel like I now know what Tripti keeps harping on about.”

“That hurts, Khushi.”

This time she laughed out aloud. “I never knew you for melodrama. I think you are spending too much time with Arjun.”

He sighed. “That I am, unfortunately. But what choice do I have – yeh dooriyaan, majbooriyan…”

“Mushkil bada, yeh pyaar hai?” She asked.

He took a deep breath and seemed to drift off as she waited with a half smile pasted on her face despite the poky edges of bad tempter that she knew was still hovering under her skin.

“Arnav,” She whispered with feeling, forcing herself to draw on the moments that meant more than the imaginary ones that would take her nowhere.

“Have I mentioned I love how sexy my name sounds when you say it.”

She blushed and buried her face in her mattress again. “Okay,” She whispered. “Then let me not be a killjoy by pointing out the absolute cheesiness of that “baby” endearment from a few moments ago.

An inaudibly shocked second of silence passed before Arnav Varun burst out laughing again. “I really hoped you would let that pass, you know.”

“Not a chance,” She countered.

“I can’t pull that off,” He sighed into her ears.

“No one can pull that off,” She replied as her fingers crossed and her lips curved into a well-defined crescent.

“I am going to keep trying though, I think. I like the sound of it.”

“Dammit!” She said as she clicked her tongue in mock-disappointment.

 

River Song, Music and Lyrics

Song Title: Mushkil Bada Yeh Pyaar Hai

Album: Gupt

Singers: Alka Yagnik, Udit Narayan

Music: Viju Shah

Lyrics: Anand Bakshi

 

 

Next Update: Monday, Nov 13, 2017, late night IST

Please excuse typos! 

342 thoughts on “Chapter Twenty Five: Under Rugs, Across Oceans (II)

    1. Agree with K… no one can pull it off .. except lyricists… in my opinion… 😂😂😂

      PS: I happened to listen to a stand-up piece recently that said how English songs almost invariably had Baby in them 😀

      Be back!

      Liked by 14 people

      1. I grew up (in a part of Mumbai) being constantly addressed as “Baby” right from the Kirana dukaan owner to the BEST bus conductor. An acquaintance who grew up in the Western suburbs of the city was in for a shock when she was addressed as “Baby” while traveling in our part of the city ;) . Had to work hard to calm her down. LOL!

        Liked by 17 people

    2. I’ve seen first hand what it is to be rendered motionless one fine morning due to weight issues – scary scary thing! And I have seen the magical determination it brings to a person – nothing like a health issue to ring alarm bells and get one moving – it is the truth! And Raagini missing her dances – I remember the last day of orientation when she and Arjun had a blast on the dance floor… poor girl!

      This was her decision, her resolution to find confidence that she would be able to live up to his expectations and desires.

      Some long lasting deep scars, that most likely will peek their ugly heads time and again. I, like AV, would also like to know what is scurrying that little brain of hers. Quick weight loss – is that what she is aiming at? Doesn’t she need more than just quick weight loss to come to terms with herself now? What are you setting us up for Meera? A bigger unravelling? It has been a long long time since I stopped speculating here… at least some serious speculations :) Am not getting to it again :)

      You still have left the why part – haven’t you?! The why Arnav loves her in the first place. I bet most of us here are perhaps more eager than Khushi herself to know the answer. I am looking forward to that moment – eagerly, whenever it comes.

      Flirty AV – I am as surprised and delighted to see this side of him that was carefully hidden all these days! Sometimes it does feel like a bit of Arjun has rubbed on AV! And all the symptoms of new love you have beautifully explained – make me smile widely :) And some determination he has – he has he will keep trying the baby!!!

      Bring on the next bag of surprise Meera. Looking forward to River Monday as eagerly as ever :)

      PS: Shoot – I completely forgot that I was lucky to get the first res… and what did I do of it?! Come back a week late! Note to self: Anu – do better next time…

      Liked by 8 people

    1. One of the many instances where Khushi’s people are hers for a reason. :)

      Raagini and Tripti – twin blessings, so much alike and yet not. Good to have her back, and like Khushi, I do feel a little sorry for the fact that she misses her dance, especially when I clearly remember the conversation from not too long ago about her having a little more faith in the strength of the dance floors than Khushi did herself.

      And like her spiritual twin, Raagini’s also true. Khushi needn’t change for a guy, even if it is AV. But easier said than done. Perhaps this deep-seated need for her to do this makes me think she needs it to be that way. She needs it to be the reason. Fear is a great motivator and it truly can be. But it can also be an unhealthy one. And maybe you’ll realize Khushi, it’s not the right one. I just hope in her efforts to lose weight she doesn’t end up losing far more important pieces of herself. (Well, I’ll note this down for my own quiet nights. Don’t want to be all badi badi baatein and only vada pav khaate.) But things do look positive with Raagini and with AV’s presence, so here’s hoping she finds and becomes a Khushi she is able to live with and love.

      All of Khushi’s responses would’ve been mine except for this thought which I dislike very much – “…especially not to the man who had little reason to love her in the first place.”
      Khushiiiiiii – Don’t. No, just don’t.

      Lovely to see AV already attuned to her moods. Quick study, isn’t he? Well, Khushi has some gearing up to do. Two weeks?(I’m glad we have only one) Is there a plan? *Wiggles eyebrows not so subtly*

      And oh wait, what did he say…….Baby?
      No. Please. Don’t.

      The conversations are, as always, to die for Meera. :) Thank you!

      My song this time —

      O mere mohalle mein
      Chaand jo aaya hain
      Eid jo laaya hain
      Tu hi toh nahi

      Ammi ne meri jo
      Suit silaya hain
      Khwaab dikhaya hain
      Tu hi toh nahi

      Haan jiske liye dil bigadne lagaa hain
      Woh kaun hain, tu hi hain
      Jiske liye dil sambhalne lagaa hain
      Woh kaun hain, tu hi hain

      Door ye kaun hain?
      Paas ye kaun hain?
      Khaas ye kaun hain?
      Tu hi hain

      Liked by 18 people

      1. If I was Khushi… this man would have the right to call me anything. Period.
        Baby, Taby, Faby, Maby, Kaby, Saby, Raby…umm Zaby? Kooooochh bhi chalega. Bas…bulaaye! Uff! Bas bulaaye humein! Sigh!

        Liked by 17 people

        1. See, maybe it’s not AV. I don’t think I can explain why I start squirming when I hear that particular endearment. It happens to me when real life couples use that too.

          And Appu, you tell me if you’d not tape the way your name sounds through his lips and replay it a million times, even if the man is ready to say it again.

          ‘Meri Sohni’ trumps all, yeah? ;)

          Liked by 14 people

          1. Nivi, would you rather AV sing 👇🏻👇🏻

            Ho..Meri Khushi meri tamanna
            Jhooth nahin hai mera pyaar
            Deewane se ho gayi galti (baby bola)
            Jaane do yaar
            I love you, I love you

            Aake meri aankhon mein tum dekho
            In mein har ek adaa tumhari hai
            Kahne ko yeh dil hai mera lekin
            Dhadkan mein sada tumhari hai
            Tumse hai chain mera tumse hai mera karaar

            La la la…
            I love you, I love you…

            😉😁

            Liked by 12 people

        2. My husband’s favorite name for me was vanar.

          But he knew it was never to be uttered in front of a third person and thankfully my boys didn’t know what that means.😅😄

          Liked by 15 people

    1. That baby was cheesy😁
      How much ever we know that these things shouldn’t matter, but social conditioning and the casual body shaming that many face does get to us. I’m glad khushi has got ramu, someone who understands where she’s coming from. And I still feel he doesn’t know the extend of her insecurities, and hopefully if she talks to him like she did, he will figure it out.
      Sometimes there is that trigger that makes us want to change things, for ramu it was a health issue, for khushi it is a fear that AV will find her wanting. Maybe not the right trigger, it should be something that she does for herself. But having that one person telling you that they love and want you in spite of all the shortfalls that one sees in oneself will help..

      Liked by 14 people

    1. “I am going to keep trying though, I think. I like the sound of it.” – You go AV! 👍🏻❤️ Maybe on your next call you should croon 👇🏻👇🏻

      I can’t live without you
      I love everything about you
      I can’t help it if I feel this way

      And I’m so glad I found you
      I want my arms around you
      I want to hear you call my name
      Tell me baby that you feel the same.

      Baby I love you
      Baby I love you
      Baby I love you…
      💗

      Liked by 10 people

      1. How bout this, Divzi? 💗

        I’ll make you happy, baby, just wait and see
        For every kiss you give me …I’ll give you three
        Oh, since the day I saw you
        I have been waiting for you
        You know I will adore you ’til eternity
        So won’t you, please, be my be my baby
        Be my little. baby my one and only baby
        Say you’ll be my darlin’, be my be my baby
        Be my baby now, my one and only baby

        Liked by 10 people

    2. Perfect people are not real, and real people are not perfect.

      Khushi’s self-doubt and disquietude have developed into a fog so thick that it is preventing her from seeing the fluorescent beacons of reason shining in front of her. It appears as if Tripti and Raagini’s words of wisdom got lost in the murky mists of fretfulness. It’s okay to want to lose weight, but to adopt unhealthy means (starving oneself) to achieve quick results is a total no-no! Khushi’s rationale that her weight reduction will make her desirable and worthy of AV’s affections is both sad and worrisome. AV’s love for her is not dictated by her looks and/or her outward appearance. In fact, if AV were to find out the real reason for Khushi’s urgency to lose weight, it will upset him no end.

      I feel for this trepidatious Khushi who struggles to climb out of the deep pit of low self-esteem and unworthiness. Like a shattered mirror, her mind provides a distorted image of self and it is not appealing. I don’t know who or what will flip the switch allowing the warm, bright rays of realization to burn off the eclipsing veils of diffidence and trepidation. AV, Tripti and Raagini can show her the way, but, eventually it is her journey of self-realization and self-acceptance. She has to break free from the shackles she has made for herself if she wants to go onto live the life she dreams to live; to love and be loved without limits. It will not be easy, but she can do it!
      Aren’t most endearments cheesy?!? AV calling Khushi baby was sweet and he pulled it off purrfectly! 😉😄

      Meera, thank you for another stellar update. Muaaah! 😘😘

      Humko humise chura lo
      Dil mein kahin tum chupa lo
      Hum akele, kho na jaayen
      Door tumse, ho na jaayen
      Paas aao gale se laga lo…
      💗

      Liked by 10 people

      1. Loved reading your thoughts D…you said it all and how!!

        In fact, if AV were to find out the real reason for Khushi’s urgency to lose weight, it will upset him no end. – this makes me sad too… I understand it is not easy but I wish she opens up to him…

        Love the song and the lines used (:

        Liked by 6 people

      2. Lovely lovely comment Divz…

        “I don’t know who or what will flip the switch…”

        I am waiting for that too!!! How it will play out at the River… but then again, sometimes switches work for a while before darkness clouds… but then again, I hope she draws enough strength from those moments of glorious light – that she can dispel them when they do strike, even in future… may be not with the same intensity and strength… as you have rightly said, this insecurity seems to be so so deeply rooted! It seems to need more – more than loving words of a sister and a dear friend… more than the reassurances of a lover, more than professional success… perhaps something internal?!

        I’m waiting along with you…

        (I don’t know if I even made sense!)

        Liked by 6 people

        1. Thanks Anu! 😘😘

          Yes, you make absolute sense. The light of acceptance and realization has to shine from within! Khushi has to recognize nobody is “perfect”. Some have health issues i.e. Ramu’s degenerated discs in her spine, and some are burdened with unrealistic expectations. She is extremely fortunate that she is not hampered by any of the above.

          She has finally reunited with the love of her life; an adoring, patient man who loves her unconditionally and has told her repeatedly that his feelings for her are the “forever” kind. Instead of enjoying this phase of her life, she is driving herself crazy thinking of the hows and whys. She has to change the lens through which she views herself. I don’t know what will bring about her “eureka” moment but I hope that it happens sooner rather than later. I don’t want her drastic weight loss program to result in a showdown with AV!

          Like you I too wait with bated breath to see what will trigger her self actualization!

          Liked by 4 people

        2. At the risk of seeming like a broken record!
          “There was only one person she owed anything too. And it was herself. Her – the fat girl who had always wondered what being loved by someone other than family would be like, the new teen who had been laughed at when her crush had been discovered in school. The sounds of laughter as the object of her affection had scoffed at the possibility of her crushing on him years ago echoed in her head. It was not a memory she had allowed back into her consciousness even though she knew it was what drove her and her reactions.”
          That above is probably just one instance or at least one that we know of, but it has stayed with her. I feel unless one has experienced something like that one just wouldn’t know how it feels like. Words can stay on for a long long time, its sting as sharp as the first time. I wanted to say this for lavzy’s comment above. She is opening up to him. The fact that she didn’t hide that she was irritated, hungry because she was trying to diet is a good sign.

          Liked by 6 people

            1. Was listening to this Anu, I love it, an absolute beauty from ARR (I could be wrong, feel its underrated also). Captures the melancholia associated with waiting, pining, not knowing….

              Cr: YT/Uploader

              Liked by 3 people

    1. Oh my Meera!! You did include the “Gupt” song. :) I am dancing, dancing and dancing (a la Manisha), and you know why ;) . ahaa ahaa ahaa…

      First Tripti and now Raagini. These girls are the best!! Just what we ladies need. Coming from an always-slim woman, this may seem easier on the ears than on the rest of the body, but losing weight has certainly to do more with being fit than fitting in. And I will leave it at that. Khushi is on the right path, unfortunately Raagini’s tryst with the back-pain had to be the catalyst. Shyam is already crawling his way back into the narration. Waiting to see more of him… no face-offs yet with Khushi in the Bengaluru office?

      My song dedication…now that we are talking about “Bechainiyaan”, this one has to be mentioned too :D

      “Tumhein yaad karte karte” — from “Amrapali”. Lataji at her sensual best.


      Tumhein yaad karte karte, Jaayegi rayn saari
      Tum le gaye ho apne, Sang neend bhi hamaari ||

      Mann hai ke ja basaa hai, Anjaan ik nagar mein
      Kuch khojtaa hai paagal, Khoyi huyi dagar mein ||
      Ithne bade mahal mein, Ghabaraaun mein bechaari
      Tum le gaye ho apne, Sang neend bhi hamaari ||

      Birhaa ki is chithaa se, Tum hi mujhe nikaalo
      Jo tum na aa sako tho, Mujhe swapn mein bulaao ||
      Mujhe aise mat jalaao, Meri preet hai tumhaari
      Tum le gaye ho apne, Sang neend bhi hamaari ||

      Liked by 16 people

      1. I say it in front of the whole world that I’m in love with you for posting this song, Vini! God this song!!!! This song! Sigh!!!! Where is that damned emoji which has a hand placed on it’s heart … if not, I’ll beg them to make one! ☺️

        Liked by 13 people

        1. Thanks 😍🤗.
          As long as folks don’t try to engage me in a conversation on the likes of Justin (T or B) or even an Adele or the new Bollywood crop. A few years to catch up, sigh! And fewer songs to remember 😘

          Liked by 11 people

      1. Interesting convo between the girls. Other people’s experiences might not help the minute they are shared but the awareness always helps eventually. Her meeting with Ramu must have planted the information somewhere in her brain (whenever it decides to kick in, it will all surely make sense).

        Khushi’s will to do something about her weight, mainly stemming from AV being in her life, I understand the rush and the need of the hour. Khushi wants to work on her weight issues well and good, wants to do it for AV well and good but losing weight is not the only thing that will solve her issues. AV might be the crutch for now but his view/opinion will eventually help her see things differently I presume. The understanding that AV loves her regardless of things, is another big point of this journey.
        They both of so huge on songs, AV should embed this into her brain Jab pyaar kare koi
        To dekhe keval mann…

        Tripti’s talk, Ramu’s meet, and all the other prompts are surely stepping stones for Kaveri Khushi Gupta journey. All in the process to reach the point of realization. Weaving it wonderfully Meera.

        AV doesn’t question the diet but does question the ridiculous/rigorous diet, the bottom line being, staying fit is good but not at the cost of starvation. His bemused voice surely says he has picked something up but probably too little to ponder upon. She is not measuring her words that’s a good sign….soon :)

        Endearments (: (: ..another step in their relationship…..honestly Khushi was behaving like a baby, her mood was not right from the minute go…and I think he tried to comfort, love her with the endearment, it seemed natural to me…. I actually loved it :)

        Thank you for this one. Wonderfully penned Meera.

        I loved AV more in this update….I understand Khushi’s crankiness, but I didn’t see her pyaar for him :P :P

        Liked by 8 people

          1. Miss tip taap…I love Mamiji and La bond 😂😂

            You didn’t it feel P?! ….hmm it is just me probably…….I thought Khushi will be more loving when in love but she seems very distant as of now. I understand her insecurities but the warmth from her side when he is giving it all to the relationship seems missing.

            Liked by 5 people

    1. Two weeks long wait for AV – Khushi. Both of them are doing well in distance relationship .
      Diet plans are ridiculous . Hungry stomach will make us cranky . Khushi is not an exception .

      AV’s ‘baby’ is 😚😉

      Liked by 4 people

      1. I just need to get started on this with quick results.

        “I am willing to try anything here. I was this close to buying a TVC sauna belt yesterday, you know.

        I couldn’t care less about my health at the moment. At the most, it’s a happy coincidence.”

        It was a guy she was hoping to retain long enough to last a lifetime.

        She kept rambling those lines up there but the only thing I heard was “I am scared.” That trepidation, anxiousness because of an insecurity which had her in knots for so many years when it came to this guy who ruled her heart like it belonged to him more than her, is almost about to become a reality. There is this insane fear in her.. of losing him. That’s all there is to it. She is worried, scared in anticipation…feels inadequate, not up to the mark cus there is this something about her which will come in between them every time they are together. She thinks she will put him off for life. Though her worries are far from what he feels about her, they are real. As real as they could get.

        The last one pricked my heart. I wanted to give her a big tight hug. The desperate need in her to fix the issue as quickly as possible before everything slips out of her hands was so beautifully penned Meeru. The fear is raw and is gnawing her insides. Seeing Ramu’s shocking transformation gives her hope and she gets sucked into the madness even more. The sensible friend tries to placate her, trying to make her look at it objectively but Khushi’s far gone. It’s a hard battle for her. Such battles always are. She’s edgy with him, the insecurities now surfacing from the deep layers of her being and flowing freely in a layer just under her skin. They have slowly started trickling into their routine conversations and she is snappy and almost on the verge of a meltdown. She wants him to come to Bangalore but is scared of it too. Its a horrible horrible place to be in.

        Not a lot can be done. Either you actively start exercising and try losing weight or learn to live with it. Both the options are hard and difficult, so there is no quick fix at the moment. Sigh.

        I don’t know what to say or feel. I don’t even know if a few comforting words from AV will make it all go away. Such things root themselves in blood and thrive on fear. But for her sake, I hope he does make it a tad bit easier for her to live with it. It’s almost like it’s his responsibility to make her feel better only because all this madness rotates and revolves around him. And he loves her enough to address it. Its unfair but thats the only way out. I hope they both make it!

        Poignant chapter, Meeru. Seems light but has a lot of underlying emotions which have come through beautifully. Loved it :)

        PS1: Baby is horribly cheesy but he said it. So, its the best thing ever. Period.
        PS2 : The update song is Muah!
        PS3 : He needs to stop saying sorry. Its hurting me.
        Ps4 : He needs to stop being patient. Its hurting me
        Ps5 : He needs to stop being so understanding. Its bothering me.
        PS6: He needs to stop being so sexy. Its killing me!
        PS7: Love you.

        Liked by 11 people

    1. I am in love with this chapter such a balanced view on both and their respective POV
      The AV we saw today was all out for kill confident in his choice in his relationship
      Men usually are slow learners and take time to react in such matters yet he is ready for all social media declaration
      & the same time when you have struggled a lot in something n finally achieve the success looks unbelievable same is Ms Kaveri here, but I can see together they will be great for each other being strengthful when required.

      In the last chapter too I have been thinking you have touched a very valid point that sometimes parents unknowing ruin the children’s psyche n how long the effects go… who would believe that two such educated people who shape future of so many other children are so ignorant about their own inadequacies
      Wish Khushi gets a chance somewhere sometime to clear issues with her mother

      & Finally

      I had this typed on the chapter where you had a note saying you understand if people can’t comment
      I had this typed that day but couldn’t paste it on time
      “Hi Meera

      All I would say to your note#3 jiyo Meera jiyo in a blessed way because I have always felt guilty that I take the pleasure of reading such wonderful work but haven’t commented on all chapters or all the time but I am person who will usually read the whole story and then comment once may be a long one or a small one but your note tonite made me feel better
      Thank you for such a wonderful human being
      I am usually there every time every update day waiting by river side for hours refreshing it but not putting a note so that even by mistake it might add to your pressure so you have given me a breather a life saver
      Thank you♥️“

      Liked by 4 people

    1. Yeh ishk nahi aasaan……. lambi judaiiiiiiii……
      uff…AV….jaisi ho waisi achi lagti ho…but maybe he does’t know what she’s thinking…..

      Maaf kar do…..but agli love story between a married couple….khyaal aaya…
      Meera……pls pretty pls….
      Apologies….but am already dreading the end of the year….

      Liked by 7 people

  1. This is just the beginning of the crux of Khushi’s issues regarding her body, but the beginning itself is so heartbreaking😭
    Will there be a time where people are admired for their personality their strength of character and not their physical attributes which are just passed on by a good/bad gene pool. Personally I don’t think there’s anyone on this earth who fits the term ugly!! There’s a beauty in every thing from man to nature to animals because the creator has created them
    So!
    I’m not saying one must not be bothered with weight issues, being health conscious is a necessity because of the lifestyle we’re leading but it should be never used as a tool to measure a person’s chance at having a relationship.
    My heart breaks for Khushi and the many Khushi’s in this world. They’re intelligent, brave beautiful they deserve to be loved cherished and respected for the women they’re on the inside not outside. A tough road ahead but hope Arnav has the ability to see through the issues and help her to realise that she’s worth his love!!

    Liked by 12 people

    1. The weight loss issue… sigh… I’ve never been overweight. Actually more towards the skinny side, even after being a mother of two. But I know people, who have been at the receiving end of this issue, very closely. Rejected marriage proposals, being present when insensitive folks joke about being overweight… etc.. Own family members put their self esteem down..
      If someone is obese due to laziness, that’s a different issue. But if it’s genetic, or naturally someone is towards the overweight side, then you should leave them alone. Appreciate them for who they are, what they do, what they’ve achieved, not how they look!
      I know none of this has actually happened to Khushi, but when you see similarly looking people around you having experienced these kinds of stuff, then when you look at others the only thing that’s going to be running in your mind is, “what are they thinking about how I look?” even if they don’t say anything or don’t look like they’re judging.
      I hope Arnav helps with her insecurities, not that I have any doubts, just for her sake…

      Liked by 6 people

  2. Excellent update :)

    Their telephonic conversation turned out to be so good.. so so so well written authorji 😊

    Khushi has really come a long way..

    What ragini went through is sad.. but yes, at least she is able to come out of the pain without surgery..
    Arranged Marriages still has its own flaws where in a girl or a boy is discussed / dissected so openly .. yes, negative comments really hurts..and puts a break on one’s own self esteem..

    Eagerly waiting for Arnav to come to India and would love to see how they take this relationship forward..

    Once again excellent update
    👌👌👌👌

    Liked by 7 people

  3. quite a interesting one…. Ragini n Khushi conversation topic a bang on…………..yes the weightloss prog …..why? It need to be for only to be approved by someone but not for our own health point and confidence………
    Then the Arnav n Khushi convo…… ye do bichare , prem ke maare, phone kar ke kar ke haare……..anyhow only 13 days wait…..i dont know but its me who felt like this that now in conversation its more Arnav and AV is hiding :)
    Mayvs2013

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Interesting conversation between friends and is so right to caution Khushi from trying to lose weight for a man, any man. How is having fair skin or a perfect body any gauge for someone’s attractiveness and desirability?

      Excessive weight needs to come off when it impacts on one health and unfortunately
      Raagini is in that situation.
      Is losing weight going to solve her negative body image issues? And what is Khushi hoping to achieve in 3 weeks?

      Did I say 3 weeks!!!!

      Haila – he is back in 3 weeks.

      Until then we make do bearing witness to flirting by phone.
      And he so did not sound cheesy slipping in a ‘baby’, it was very well done.

      I noted the updated banner with mixed feelings – this sangam has been long awaited but the thought of no more riverside to come to is not pleasing

      Liked by 5 people

  4. Okay Meera this feels like my life story 😂 when you are always trying to lose weight with working out with a trainer and eating crap everyday it does put a girl in a bad mood but what to do hypothyroid is a pain in behind and it has ales every ounce of your energy to keep up the normal weight and being the shorty you are it does not help lol ahh poor Khushi I feel her pain and seeing other people lose weight so easily is no fun!! Poor Arnav when will he get his ILU? I guess intezar ka phal meetha hotha hain, cannot wait for these to get back together!! Loved the update, even while I am eating my crappy salad with fish 😩😝

    Liked by 5 people

  5. Sigh..why did it end when it was getting interesting…just want more and more.

    So much I can relate to..Khushi..lets tag and walk together..I am on the same page :D
    Why is the weight loss such a pain..kitna phi karo..farka hein nahin pasta :D
    It is like we are on see food diet ;-), you see food, you have to have it ;P

    Anyways, the chat with Raagini and arnav was so interesting. Although Arnav sees Khushi as a person who he loves no matter what. It feels like she just needs to feel that herself. I am looking forward to seeing her transformation in her confidence.

    Liked by 6 people

  6. I feel for all the women who has to deal with weight loss…it can be a big blow to your self confidence. By god’s grace i do not have that prob, but know someone who is close to me going thru this issue.
    I like how you r dealing with this topic…I like how it is not a perfect pretty world of Arnav and Khushi….love, love and love your writing.
    TC
    sforswe

    Liked by 5 people

  7. I liked lovers phone convo ;) .. sweetest of all today. Weight loss is great problem say the always struggling me.. but arnav is right eat wholesome and healthy and burn is better for body in long run.. anyways I am going to talk about 2 song . First one I was listening pehla nasha radio on gaana app and this song come up and why I don’t know but I absolutely pictured arnav and Arjun singing that … and that one is ” apun bola tu meri layla ” sharukh and ashwarya .
    And sing for today’s update.. I am pretty sure arnav loves her what she is not for body and come in category ” are we need something to hold man” kind of guy. ;)
    So the song I always listen and cheer me up is Meghan Trainor – all about the base

    Liked by 5 people

  8. Arnav will be catching up with all her insecurities soon, he is a smart chap. I am pretty sure that he has an idea already. This is heartbreaking to see Khushi and her reasons of motivation, the underlying strong insecurities. There has to be something stronger, the need to do this for her own self over anything. This will be a mess but it ll be for the good.

    Liked by 5 people

  9. 😄grinning like a Cheshire Cat! Dear Khushi so needs to love herself. For someone so smart it’s surprising she doesn’t at some level. She does Arnav injustice ( as we often do to our loved ones) thinking that his love is so shallow n fickle. He loves her for who she is and for him she is beautiful…….. that’s the lasting type of love…….

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I don’t think she thinks his love is fickle and shallow at all. She is insecure about herself and derp rooted feelings and self image issue takes time to go away but Khushi will emerge as winner eventually no doubt

      Liked by 6 people

  10. that was the sweetest lovers phone convo ever…..I was just imagining when did saying ‘baby’ become the ritual?that was sweet though….
    Loved that khushi has started talking to him..even though she is still not out and open…Baby steps as Arnav says….
    On a more serious note, Raagini and Khushi’s conversation was surely a mood dampner..there are so many people who are more into looks, skin tone, and weight….It is not for them you try to be healthy but because you want to prevent something like Raagni has to go through..not even for someone you love..it has to be for yourself….Period!!!
    Hope Khushi realizes this soon….

    Pavina

    Liked by 5 people

  11. Meera,

    So relatable this chapter was…..of Facebook ad weight loss and crankiness and Bollywood….the quirks an meanderings along the river of life…enjoying this play….stop….fast forward point of their relationship…..long distance hee sahee……Khushi almost tells him she loves him…..but to quite…..uff, this woman🤣

    And, thank you for bringing up the point about losing weight only for the right reasons……heaps of people think it works that way…..but you canon.y ever do it for your own self. Too spaced out today but just had to come and say hello to all my fellow river wasis……and thank you again for regaling us with these lovely gems week after week…..Khushi, Arnav and it’s complicated……uh, not quite!

    Hugs,

    Anu

    Liked by 12 people

  12. Loved it .. loved their conversation.. just hope that she loose her weight for herself and for her self esteem .. Because Arnav love her not her weight

    Liked by 4 people

  13. Hahahaha… And I thought I’m probably the only one reading this who found the ‘baby’ cheesy …. You’ve changed a lot of my ‘this happens only to me’ perspectives Meera….
    Loved the update…Absofu**inglutely loved it !!
    Ooh and I used your karma is a female dog today…Got blankly stared at for about 5-6 seconds for that 😂
    I hope she goes ahead with the diet for her own health and fitness and Arnav is able to inspire more confidence in her for this :) He’s a sweetheart…Baby hahaha 😂
    I hear people use the endearment around me all the time and yet it never stops sounding cheesy …
    And I hope Ragini is able to dance again…As much as she wants….And that the guy whose mummy doesn’t like dusky south Indian girls gets a solid punch in the face…
    Waiting for the next one…

    Love,
    Namrata

    Liked by 6 people

  14. Love the update! Is it wrong for me to wish Kushi loses weight? Secretly, I kept hoping for that throughout the story. Hope no one will judge me :(
    Oh and if anyway calls me baby, I will cringe. Strike that! I will kill :)

    Liked by 7 people

  15. wow meera…awesome updates.
    i can totally relate to Khushi. I have had weight issues my entire life and all my family saw was my weight not who i truly am. Even when i got married my in-laws and husband saw that i was not skinny yet they went through with the wedding for green card bc i was US citizen and after marriage all i got was to lose weight. all my husband’s family members ask same question if i have lost weight or not. I finally got tired and i tell them that its my weight that i have to carry why are they worried.
    i really don’t get it…ok so the girl is skinny when you get married but what if they gain weight after marriage…what the guy going to do…divorce her.
    and i don’t even wanted to get started on my shopping experience in India. Seriously, the sales guys are like lose weight. i wish it were that easy and who the hell are you to tell me that. then when i like something and i ask for larger size they say there is not concept. what hell does that even mean. if you make smaller size u can make larger size. its not rocket science that you need a concept.
    as you can see this is very personal issue that i have dealt with my entire life. when will society change.
    ok rant over.

    Liked by 10 people

    1. nice to see that you are handling this in a nice way :)
      as you rightly said, its up to us whether we want to lose weight or not

      not because somebody wanted us to …

      Liked by 6 people

    2. Scrutiny by the society doesn’t end even if we end up with an ‘acceptable’ body type. If not the body, there is a face. If not the face, there is a career (or the lack of it). If not the career, it would be the marital status. If not the marital status, it is the progeny that we have produced (or not). Not necessarily in that order. Next comes their (the progeny’s) looks, their studies, their extra-curricular activities so on and so forth. Sigh! It never ends…

      Liked by 8 people

      1. Sigh… it never ends! Brings us back to the self-awareness 101 – and simple be happy and hear through one ear and leave through the other – agree – easier said than done… but over time, it certainly gets better – once you figure who and what to surround yourself with :)

        Liked by 3 people

  16. Heloooo
    Last update n this one is all about bonding n raagini n Tripti r two gems of persons .. kushi is blessed to hav thm..

    Kushi is nt alone with this kind of thinking.. ppl around me n my besties hav gone thru this n atlast came out verdict is… dieting is crap n healthy eating ll do😉

    Baby… buwahhhh I think many many of us hav been called n annoyed of this…
    Dont babeee meee ll b the outcome 😜

    Liked by 5 people

  17. I am so happy for them. They seem to get along with each other really well these days. Conversations without inhibitions- a pretty big step in any relationship, I guess.

    Loved it as usual! :)

    Liked by 5 people

  18. Beautiful lovely update as usual.
    Ragini is such a gem friend of khushi. Love theur convo and all she went through was really bad but a good wajeup call.and love how she told khushi about her past of losing weight for a guy and warn her. Lively bonding. Arshi yearning for each other and their conversation was really awesome and lovely.
    Loved the update

    Liked by 4 people

  19. Love this chapter… one or the other way most of us has gone through this.. love the way you are addressing it.. longdistance relationship are harder than what you think.. but once together it becomes a sweet memory… the chat, messages, phone call, pining for each other etc etc..Awesome chapter

    Liked by 4 people

  20. Wow…their easy going conversations are soo real. Maybe I liked this chapter so much because it is soo real and yet enchanting. How we feel the need to change ourselves for people we love, the feeling of inadequacy and insecurity…its a beautiful chapter. Thank you

    Liked by 4 people

  21. Wow Khushi lose weight for healthier reasons than ” especially no to the man who had little reasons to Love her in the first place.” I mean he loves you as you are. But if she feels losing some weight will help her build her confidence and help her love herself then she should give it a try.
    Oh man Ragini is such an adorable character. True excess weight can kill the bag. I have friends who are trying to lose the excess kilos for dear back and knees.
    Arnav satya vachan. Burn more than you eat. I can’t diet to save my life :D but yeah I think I burn more than I eat thanks to a new born and a preschooler :D
    To all those who are trying to get on the safer side of the weighing scale my best wishes. Staying motivated is the biggest challenge have seen my best friend struggling and it’s so difficult to keep the spirits up . Khushi all the very best

    Liked by 5 people

  22. hahah…can’t express how much I enjoyed this…TVC sauna belt!!!…I swear I lost count the number of times I thought of ordering it!!!!… how can you come up with these stuff?!!!….its so normal….like us..I feel like I am picturing me in place of khushi :D….thats the best thing of your story meera that its so authentic!!!…..
    loved the new dimension of av-khushi’s relation…..enjoyed their phone conversation a lot…..loved it :D <3

    Liked by 5 people

  23. Nice update. Our star couple seem to be getting comfortable voicing their thoughts to eachother. Waiting to see what the reunion has in store for them.

    Liked by 4 people

  24. Wow..Meera, I love the way you put weight , body image, confidence and struggles with weightloss so beautifully into the story…I can so well relate with few of the opinions… stubborn weighing scale reluctant to show the difference just with diet …have been there.. feeling fitter and more confident once you start with regular exercising…being there about now… I lllllooovvveeee this story..

    Liked by 4 people

  25. Damnit! :D

    ILUD… it’s coming isn’t it? From KKG? Very soon pilleej?

    Meera, I know I have not commented in a long while, probably 3/4 chapters but asli duniya is a busy bee. But never think we are bored or have forgotten your story. Nobody who ever read your work every can.

    I love this sweetness of a relationship that had developed between them, this blossoming romance. Arnav is there wholeheartedly but he can sense Khushi’s reticence. And my guess is he’s waiting for her to reveal it rather than digging into it. He’s smart though and will figure it out pretty soon. He already partially has when he asked whether she believed he meant it when he said I love you and that it meant forever.

    I do and don’t understand what’s holding Khushi back. While I have never had a weight or an image issue, I too have had those complex issues where I cannot believe a guy would be interested in me and I could hold onto that interest.

    This is going to be up into something bad it maybe it will put her fears to rest once and for all. Sometimes a younger person can give good advice. Khushi should atleast give some heed to Tripti’s words.

    Speaking of Tripti…will they resolve their issues? I hope so. Arjun seems lost. Not his usual self. Maybe we could know what’s wrong with them?

    Five months me se kitna time hua? :P Seems like IPK, that was “chhe mahine”, this is 5, where we have to wait for something to occur. Oh well atleast we have practice.

    Anyway, that’s about what I feel for the story at this point.
    I may (I hope not) stop commenting again but rest assured I am always reading.

    You are amazing Meera, thanks!

    Liked by 5 people

  26. Baby – dirty dancing – pink dress and 😝baby ok bass pasand hai😐 … maybe AV’s baby will rinse those other baby memories🤞! M so tired and delirious that I probably m not making sense but thanks for another great chapter!!

    Liked by 4 people

  27. Thank u Meera. It feels so real. Like my own life. The weight issue is one of the most popular unavoidable issues in today’s sedentary lifestyle. In loving the way u r handling it.

    Losing weight is important. And I agree with raagini here. Khushi should do it for her own peace of mind and staying fit. Not for some insecurity. I hope she ll soon realise his love for her has been a journey and she is the only destination.

    2 weeks.. I’m so excited. Bring it on!!!!

    Liked by 4 people

  28. So true…no one can pull that off.. baby.. uggghgh…
    Ragini is right.. Kaveri shouldn’t do that for arnav.. but for herself.. but I strongly she is getting to be at a better place and knows what’s important… It’s just that she slips sometimes and gets wrapped too much self sensure and low self-esteem…
    You can do it Kaveri… Nothing is impossible..
    Kaveri and arnav’s chats are so sweet and cute.. :)

    Liked by 3 people

  29. 13 days….. sigh!! We are all waiting as much as Khushi without a doubt, the phone conversation is excellently written, Khushi’s grumpy mood and Arnav’s playful one, I would love to see them more carefree around each other, hopefully soon.
    Meeting a friend after a long time is a pleasure always, especially when you have so much in common, Ramu is certainly one such friend to Khushi – and I have the same feeling as Khushi after knowing what happened to her – to be happy or sad about her weight loss, but one thing is true, it’s her wake-up call, loosing extra weight is not a bad thing after all!
    When is Arjun going to be back home?, I really want to see all the 4 getting together – I am sure Krishna will take Arnav’s side and Khushi will take Arjun’s side when that happens :), eagerly waiting for an update with all of them together!

    Liked by 3 people

  30. Now this sounds like a real relationship, I am of course referring to the last part of the update where Kavi and A are having the phone conversation and she is so hungry. Been there, done that and doing the diet thing right now but losing the battle with my sugar craving….despite pre diabetic warnings. I so know how she feels. Soul sister!!!!

    Did I say I love how these characters are so living and battling with real life issues?

    Liked by 3 people

  31. Just loved it. Ha ha ha….. Khushi seriously trying to reduce wait……..and feeling hungry. it was cute the way she complained to Arnav. Baby tum moti ho ya patli, tum meri ho…………..yehi pyaar hai.

    Liked by 3 people

  32. Well while reading this Justin Bieber’s BABY song came to my mind and I was actually singing too. I know quite silly of me.
    Khushi should start singing Madhuri’s song ek do teen and dance to the tunes I am absolutely sure some of her calories will burn down.
    For me I think Khushi shouldn’t feel insecure of her weight loss just because she is in a relationship. Doing for your healthy lifestyle is more important than doing thus for your BF.
    This is the most irritating thing.

    I suppose my brother told me one day that one of his office senior colleague was in a relationship and one day she brought the topic about the marriage thing and the boy told her that lose some weight and then we will think about the marriage. Now everyday in the morning she goes for a brisk walk and her mom was quite delighted and told her that who so ever is behind this decision or changing her mind will be very happy in meeting this person face to face.
    I don’t what to make out of this. I was quite amused and somwhat I chuckled😃

    Liked by 3 people

  33. Meera thanks for the detailed and revealing update. I returned from India last night only and writing my comments jetlegged with foggy and fuzzy brain and read last week’s and today’s chapter together.

    I absolutely Loved the conversation between two sisters and mind you Khushi is very lucky to have Tripti in her life( I wish I had a sister 😭— always craved for one). They both complete each other and understand the truer self of each other. Khushi’s insecurity is obviously very deep and she needs to rise above it with or without AV’s help in it. She has to do it for herself and I am confident that she will pass with flying colors.

    I don’t think AV has any idea about her deep feelings but he is of course very sharp man and it is just a matter of time when he will find out hidden secrets of our Dear Kaveri Khushi Gupta especially that’s what is the courtship period is supposedly in true sense — to get to know each other well.

    Khushi has to loose weight not for AV but for herself and she will do it.

    And the line from AV—/

    . Eat normal, wholesome food and find a way to burn more than you take in. Come on, I am sure you know this.”

    As it seems he has stolen words from my hubby’s mouth as he annoyingly keeps on repeating these lines when I am grumpy at home visualizing all delicious food in front of me and can not eat and he is the lucky one who shops to the hilt and than possesses this high metabolism— oh whatever— I don’t care and ignore that part. I know easier said than done though.

    Motivation, determination and strength to maintain will is hard and all of us need some trigger for that. So what even if AV is a trigger for Khushi as I don’t mind that as long as it keeps her motivated to achieve her target. It’s very common for people to work on loosing weight for certain occasions and timeline and there is nothing wrong in that as long as Khushi keeps it healthy ambition and does not loose her self in this desire.

    Anyway can’t wait for those two weeks when they will be together as I am literally having withdrawal symptoms of his absence🙄😜.

    Loved the nok jhok between them— adorable and cute and music is always there. Av seems very comfortable around her now.

    “Baby”— hahaha I absolutely abhor this word . I have this image of AV who is restrained saint Baba and thorough gentleman but surprisingly AV pulled it off easily and even feels sexy— hmmm we are diwani bunch and will take anything from him.

    Wo kya kahte hai —Akhiya AV darshan ki pyasi.

    Bas Aab to intjaar hai in Dono ke sangam is and no doubt it will be magical.

    aaisi jadu se likha Meera jalim ne Arnav Khushi par
    humne kaleja rakh diya river ki story par.

    Btw the song at the end made me nostalgic imagining juhi chawla in braids— QSQT movie and all. You are truly Bollywood queen Meera ❤️.

    Liked by 6 people

  34. Unique is how I would put it. That Khushi would eventually have to address the ‘issue’ of her weighing being on the heavier side, was a given. Even so, I wouldn’t have expected Ragini to play a part in it. I don’t even recall Ragini requiring weight loss in the first place. And the subtle hint towards pregnancy (correct me if I’m wrong over here) would have almost gone unnoticed. Also, thankfully, there was no preaching on the lines of ‘you don’t need to lose weight’, but rather a positive motivation towards becoming fit.

    Thirteen days…please pass soon. Since we shall have the next chapter after 7 days, should I be subtracting them from the separation period as well? ;)

    Liked by 4 people

  35. Ragini was spot on. There is no wrong on Khushi’s part to take up weight loss programme more on her health basis rather for the sake of her appearance or for Arnav.

    Btw, I just loved Arnav calling her “baby”. Endearment and intimacy nothing cheesy about it. Lovely update

    Liked by 3 people

  36. Going by her logic if Arnav were to be a chubby, high functioning, gentle, loving, and intelligent person….the chubbiness would be what that stands out…and she wouldn’t be interested in him because ‘what would she see in him?.’ Everything else can be negated??? So yeah the whole reason for losing weight needs better positioning, this comes across a little shallow and she is anything but. The whole wellness over diets is a new mktg concept, eventhough in essence it’s the same thing. But companies like Weight Watchers are consciously moving away from the term ‘Diets’ to ‘Wellness’. They actually realized that their membership has been on the decline for using the term diet which just suddenly has a negative connotation attached to it in this world of selling ‘better’ active wear and smart water. Not sure if I’m making any sense at all. I’m all for fitness, just not for the unreasonable expectations that Khushi has. Most ‘healthy’ ppl remain healthy because they’ve achieved that balancing act, the happy medium where a few bites of pastry does not hurt but still manages to satisfy. I would tell Khushi that’s where she should aim to be. Everything else is a bunch of hogwash 😊. Sharing a phenomenal poem for a phenomenal Khushi…

    Pretty women wonder where my secret lies. 
    I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size 
    But when I start to tell them, 
    They think I’m telling lies. 
    I say, It’s in the reach of my arms 
    The span of my hips, 
    The stride of my step, 
    The curl of my lips. 
    I’m a woman 
    Phenomenally. 
    Phenomenal woman, That’s me.
    – from Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou

    Thanks a lot Meera, makes me think of the struggles we endure. We do make it more difficult than it needs to be especially when the ‘lover’ in question doesn’t even care. I’m so disappointed with my long absences but I’m here and will keep returning…you are amazing 🤗.

    Liked by 8 people

  37. I totally agree with Raagini. Khushi or no body has to change for a guy. If we changed and the other party does to appreciate it, we will be feeling dissapointed and will start blaming us. Our self-confidence level will drop.
    If we want to make a change do it for ourself.
    I feel sad for Ragini. But one way its good. Raagini’s result can be a motivator for Khushi to take on weight loss seriously and she can be confident that she will be able to lose wight if she out little effort.
    Two more weeks for him to come, I m looking forward to it

    Liked by 3 people

  38. Weight issue.. very touchy one aur duniya toh kahin bhi puri nahin padti.. if thin will be asked to put on weight and if on heavier side will be asked to lose weight.. bhai mera weight jab mujhe tension hogi then i will take steps.. chalo whatever, well if Khushi is not happy with her weight then she need to lose it for herself but not to for anybody else. even don’t think Arnav is having any issues with her weight.. and about what he feels can be answered when ArShi do talk on it when together.. however liked his way too not putting her entirely down on her diet but just suggesting.. Ragini my dear is here and she is in new avatar.. want her to be fit so that she can dance.. 13 days.. chalo jahan itna time gaya yeh bhi beet jayenge.. loved this amazing update and will be waiting eagerly for AV sir’s return to his Khushi dear.. well did he updated his relationship status on FB ki aviye Khushi ka reaction pata karne ki chal thi AV ki.. but still eager to know what status he updated? 😉

    Liked by 3 people

  39. The Joy of reading an update after such a tiring schedule…love you meeruuu for such wonderful updates:)
    Sorry wasnt able to comment on previous updates:(
    Making Khushi understand to not to underestimate herself coz of her physical features is gonna be a huge task..!! Hoping somehow Arnav manages to help her with it.
    I really hope that her concerns are welladdressed
    There telephonic conversation was just too cute..13 days that’s really looooonng wait,,,long distance relationship (reminds me of my relationship with my husband before marriage)
    Is really difficult but it has its own perks:)
    Ragini and Trupti are two strong pillars for Khushi hope they put some sense in her regarding her looks..She shud start Lovin her:)
    Waiting for next update

    Liked by 3 people

  40. Hello Meera
    Yet another social issues is raised in this chapter, last time it was judging on looks or labeling. This time it’s on color, caste creed region and religion .
    I completely agree with khushi, a couple already has lots of issues, and these things r added to the list.
    Thank u Meera for this update.

    Liked by 2 people

  41. Ragini …. a true friend indeed. A blessing in disguise for Khushi who gives correct advice . Khushi…..you don’t need to reduce your weight for anyone except for yourself. The fear of losing him in future because of your heavy weight is baseless. I belive AV has accepted you just the way are. So you don’t have to change yourself for him. Yes but you should loose your weight for you ..to keep you more healthy and fit.

    Baby…baby…personally I find this endearment very cheesy. No ..no Arnav please call her something else. But baby mat bulana 😉😉

    Liked by 1 person

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