For the longest time, he had tried to convince himself that the emptiness he felt was because he was leaving a place that had been home in so many ways – one that he knew would forever hold a part of his life in its gentle grasp – a part that changed with some effort and a lot of destiny.
This would have to be quick, he reminded himself. His friends were waiting for him so that they could leave together, say their final goodbyes together. He had told them he needed to check personally if his project guide was back from his vacation so that he would be able to formally thank him for all his support. His project score had been a critical contribution to his final results – spectacular as they had been.
But standing at the gate that separated the staff quarters from the rest of the campus, he knew that was not the only reason why he was here looking for Professor Gupta.
Over the several months last year, he had alternately convinced himself of guilt and innocence and that nothing had been lost or gained that last evening after Aarohan. He had fought an urge to rush forward and explain. And then he had argued against it, citing logical facts of having made no promises or gestures that couldn’t be explained by unspecific geniality. Yes, he had sung some songs. Yes, there had been moments when he had known what the impact of his words was. Yes, there was an mixtape lying either in a dustbin or a closed wooden box somewhere. But it was just that – a mixtape of songs – for a colleague who he shared a taste in music with.
He laughed at himself then. And when the laughter had subsided into a fit of coughs, he walked over purposefully to the apartment that he had only ever been to once before. When nobody answered the door, a part of him was relieved. And another part was amused enough to make him wonder if in fact he had known that there would be no one to open the door and openly gawk at him as if he were an apparition.
Whatever it was, it was a story that was over. A short, bittersweet tale that had no business being allowed to take shape. And yet it had and now there would be etchings in his memory that lingered forever. Words that would fade with time and be completely forgotten. Except when he would catch strains of that one song – about falling in love secretly and rivers meeting oceans.
River Song, Music and Lyrics
Song Title: Awaarapan Banjaarapan
Music: M. M. Kreem
Kahan kisi ke liye hai mumkin
Sabke liye ek sa hona?
Thoda sa dil mera bura hai
Thoda bhala hai, seene mein
Note: I know this is short – that is why the mid-week update – to avoid all the chappals :P Unfortunately I am now travelling for a short family get together (my nephew turns 1!) So the next update will be only Wednesday next. We will return to the Monday updates after that!